BFO Project

I wanna do bad things with you

2009-05-20T10:56:00.000-07:00

I happened to be hanging out with some housemates while they were watching this series on HBO. It's called "True Blood", a series about vampires and a psychic... I don't really care much about it but i heard the opening theme song and it really blew me away. It's old school rock'n roll and an instant classic. You don't hear similar music anymore nowadays. It also reminds me of Chris Isaac somehow.

I have to say I love the lyrics. This song is really catchy. You can easily find yourself singing along. You gotta love it. Well what I can add:

"I don't know what you've done to me,
But I know this much is true:
I wanna do bad things with you.
I wanna do real bad things with you."

Bad Things (Jace Everett)

When you came in the air went out.
And every shadow filled up with doubt.
I don't know who you think you are,
But before the night is through,
I wanna do bad things with you.

I'm the kind to sit up in his room.
Heart sick an' eyes filled up with blue.
I don't know what you've done to me,
But I know this much is true:
I wanna do bad things with you.

When you came in the air went out.
And all those shadows there filled up with doubt.
I don't know who you think you are,
But before the night is through,
I wanna do bad things with you.
I wanna do real bad things with you.
Ow, ooh.

I don't know what you've done to me,
But I know this much is true:
I wanna do bad things with you.
I wanna do real bad things with you.

Steve Jobs Commencement Speech

2009-05-18T11:52:00.000-07:00

I was reading this article about famous key speakers during graduation ceremonies. I came across this amazing, inspirational and touching speech by Steve Jobs, the famous co-founder of Apple which he delivered during Stanford University's 2005 commencement. It was a very personal speech and it dealt with different stages of his life such as being adopted, dropping out of college, starting Apple Computers, getting fired from Apple and his diagnosis with cancer. Here's that highlight of the article (click the link at the bottom and it will take u to the whole speech):

"No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life."

For the full speech click here.

The Day Before You Came

2009-05-18T11:48:00.000-07:00

This is one of my favourite ABBA songs. It is one of their lesser known singles and not their typical style, but I love it a lot.

It is a slow song, kinda sad music. You have to read them. It's all about the lyrics. In the song she describes how her life was a simple, empty, meaningless repetitive routine until she met a guy she fell in love with. It's interesting how she describes the details of her daily routine. She claims she never realized how dull and empty her life was until that guy came into her life.

I always try to connect or relate with songs i hear. I guess i kinda feel like her lately.

The Day Before You Came Lyrics

I must have left my house at eight, because I always do

My train, I'm certain, left the station just when it was due

I must have read the morning paper going into town

And having gotten through the editorial, no doubt I must have frowned

I must have made my desk around a quarter after nine

With letters to be read, and heaps of papers waiting to be signed

I must have gone to lunch at half past twelve or so

The usual place, the usual bunch

And still on top of this I'm pretty sure it must have rained

The day before you came

I must have lit my seventh cigarette at half past two

And at the time I never even noticed I was blue

I must have kept on dragging through the business of the day

Without really knowing anything, I hid a part of me away

At five I must have left, there's no exception to the rule

A matter of routine, I've done it ever since I finished school

The train back home again

Undoubtedly I must have read the evening paper then

Oh yes, I'm sure my life was well within its usual frame

The day before you came

I must have opened my front door at eight o'clock or so

And stopped along the way to buy some Chinese food to go

I'm sure I had my dinner watching something on TV

There's not, I think, a single episode of Dallas that I didn't see

I must have gone to bed around a quarter after ten

I need a lot of sleep, and so I like to be in bed by then

I must have read a while

The latest one by Marilyn French or something in that style

It's funny, but I had no sense of living without aim

The day before you came

And turning out the light I must have yawned and cuddled up for yet another night

And rattling on the roof I must have heard the sound of rain

The day before you came

Heartbreaker

2009-05-18T11:29:00.000-07:00

I came across this Rolling Stones record called Heartbreaker. This is a Rock n' Roll classic. It's inspired by 2 different real life tragedies, one is the fatal shooting by NYPD of a boy who was mistakenly thought to have been a bank robber and the second was the death of a 10 year old girl in an alley from a drug overdose.

The chorus references the .44 magnum popularized by the Dirty Harry series, as the "world's most powerful handgun".

The chorus goes:
"Heart breakers with your forty four
I wanna tear your world apart"

Very powerful song, they don't make them like this anymore...

THE ROLLING STONES lyrics - Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo (Heartbreaker)

The police in New York City
They chased a boy right through the park
And in a case of mistaken identity
The put a bullet through his heart
Heart breakers with your forty four
I wanna tear your world apart
You heart breaker with your forty four
I wanna tear your world a part
A ten year old girl on a street corner
Sticking needles in her arm
She died in the dirt of an alleyway
Her mother said she had no chance, no chance!
Heart breaker, heart breaker
She stuck the pins right in her heart
Heart breaker, pain maker
Stole the love right out of you heart
Heart breaker, heart breaker
You stole the love right out of my heart
Heart breaker, heart breaker
I wanna tear your world apart
Doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo doo...

I Believe in You

2009-05-03T18:19:00.000-07:00

This is undoubtedly my favourite Twisted Sister power ballad. This one and "King of the Fools" are among the deepest songs they've composed in terms of lyrical content. I can really connect with this song in particular.

This song is about one man facing the world on his own, about how hard it is to be alone in face of difficulties and life obstacles, when everybody else believes that you are bound to fail, that you can't succeed. Instead of support and understanding, they turn him down and torture him... It is about the power of faith and support. All he asks for is someone to say that "they believe in him", that they know he can do it. It may sound simple and trivial, but their effect and impact is great and overwhelming.

Great guitar solos, amazing vocals from Dee Snider, dark and deep lyrics and magnificent chorus line, this song is flawless. It is a classic one of a kind metal ballad.

Twisted Sister - I Believe In You lyrics

Why does no one seem to understand
That it's more than love i need
It's so hard to keep your faith alive
When nobody else believes
Oh i need someone there for me
Need someone who can see
Need someone to show me
Ohhhh, that they are there to help me fight
If i fall, to set me right
someone there to hold the light
won't someone say
I believe in you
I believe in you
I believe in you
I believe in you
It's so hard to do it all yourself
Fighting for your dreams alone
When the toy's upon the highest shelf
A child's tears soon become stone
Oh why does no one lend a hand
Why does no one understand
Why i need to make a stand
Ohhhh,it's so hard to carry on
When all your hope is gone
All your dreams have come undone
I need to hear
I believe in you
I believe in you
I believe in you
I believe in you
Why won't someone say these words
Are they really so absurd?
Must they always go unheard?
Ohhhh, if someone needed the light
I'd be there to help them fight
If they fell, i'd set them right
And then i'd say
I believe in you
I believe in you
I believe in you
I believe in you
I believe in you
Won't someone say i believe in you
I believe in you
Won't someone say i believe in you
I need to hear i believe in you
I believe in you

Inigo Montoya (The Princess Bride)

2009-05-03T18:14:00.000-07:00

I think this sentence sums up this character from the classic 80s fairy tale movie "The Princess Bride":
"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

Growing up, this was always my favourite. I just love all the characters, especially Inigo Montoya. You gotta love this scene where Iniqo duels the Man in Black. I just love the gentleman conduct between the 2 duelists. You can't but be moved by this highly romanticized story. I also can't help but feel for Iniqo and his quest for revenge for his father who was slain by the 6 fingered man.

Anyway, enough talking. Here's the duel. Enjoy:

Kiss the Girl

2009-05-03T18:13:00.000-07:00

I came across this clip the other day. It brings back old memories of a Disney classic back when i was young. This is a classic, quite a masterpiece. I have seen so many parodies and covers of this song. Well here it is, the one and only, Sebastian trying to lay the mood for Prince Eric to kiss the mermaid Ariel before the days are over and she will turn back into a mermaid and the evil Ursula would own her :)

The Little Mermaid - Kiss The Girl Lyrics
Percussion
Strings
Winds
Words

There you see her
Sitting there across the way
She don’t got a lot to say
But there’s something about her
And you don’t know why
But you’re dying to try
You wanna kiss the girl

Yes, you want her
Look at her, you know you do
It’s possible she wants you, too
There is one way to ask her
It don’t take a word
Not a single word
Go on and kiss the girl

Sing with me now
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
My, oh, my
Look at the boy too shy
He ain’t gonna kiss the girl
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Ain’t that sad
Ain’t it shame, too bad
You gonna miss the girl

Now’s your moment
Floating in a blue lagoon
Boy, you better do it soon
No time will be better
She don’t say a word
And she won’t say a word
Until you kiss the girl

Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Don’t be scared
You got the mood prepared
Go on and kiss the girl
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Don’t stop now
Don’t try to hide it how
You wanna kiss the girl
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Float along
Listen to the song
The song say kiss the girl
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Music play
Do what the music say
You wanna kiss the girl

You’ve got to kiss the girl
Why don’t you kiss the girl
You gotta kiss the girl
Go on and kiss the girl

A reply to a birthday letter

2009-05-01T17:54:00.000-07:00

I received a beautiful email from one of my oldest and most faithful of friends on my birthday.
Here's the reply i sent back. I think it sums up my feelings on that day:

"My dear old friend,

On my birthday there is one thing that is always certain, year after year, like the certainty of day and the inevitability of night, that i will always receive birthday wishes from you. Going back as far as i can recall, there has never been a year that you have forgotten this day, even long before calendars, reminders, facebook and other digital assistants ever existed, you never failed in remembering this day. I am really grateful and thankful. The question of whether our friendship will ever fade in time, is no longer relevant. It's more of a rhetorical question. You and I have come such a long way. You are the most loyal of my oldest friend. We go back together way back in time. In my experience, it's a luxury to still have a friend like you, to have shared the number of years that we had. I have always treasured that and will keep doing so. True friendship is priceless.

Thank you for the kind and wise words. I have tried to follow my heart and be myself, regardless of what others think. Though as u said, it's not always the easy thing to do. Now i confess that my life may have not always been the way i wished it to be, but the beautiful moments here and there, as little as they may have been, have always triumphed over the bad and dark days as many as they were. I guess with time, there is one lesson, i learned as unimaginable as it may seem. I learned to hope for the best. I learned that as long as there is hope, we have a choice, life goes on and we can wield it the way we choose fit and the rest is yet to be discovered."

You've Got a Friend in Me

2009-04-11T00:03:00.000-07:00

Taken from one of my favorite animations "Toy Story" when i was young, this is such a congenial and simple yet powerful song about true friendship.

Sometimes going back to the innocence of childhood, the simplest form and stripped down version of a human being, can lead us to the answers to all our complicated questions about life and bring the most lasting happiness...

You've Got a Friend in Me(Randy Newman)

You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
When the road looks rough ahead,
And you're miles and miles from your nice warm bed
You just remember what your old pal said,
Boy, you've got a friend in me
Yeah, you've got a friend in me

You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
You got troubles,
and I got them too
There isn't anything
I wouldn't do for you
We stick together, we can see it through
Cause you've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me

Some other folks might be a little bit smarter than I am
Bigger and stronger too
Maybe
but none of them
will ever love you
the way I do
it's me and you, boy

And as the years go by,
Our friendship will never die
You're gonna see it's our destiny
You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me

The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch

2009-04-10T23:59:00.000-07:00

An epic scene from one of the greatest comedies "Monty Python and the Holy Grail". Cracks me up every time i hear it.

Book of Armaments (Chapter 2, verses 9-21)
..And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy." And the Lord did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu... [At this point, the friar is urged by Brother Maynard to "skip a bit, brother"]... And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it." Amen.

Y i've been silent lately

2009-04-10T23:46:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted anything lately. I used to have so many thoughts to express and share with the world. As time goes, i lose the passion to share my thoughts. I tend to keep more to myself. It's not that i don't have anything to talk about. There will always be something to say. It's just that i lost the passion and excitement i used to have in sharing. In the past, i could walk to the top of the mountain and shout my heart out to everyone to hear. Now, the shout has turned into a whisper and instead of mountains, it's the locked chambers of my mind.

Is it part of growing up? Or is it that life is fading in me? Energy and youth are slipping away. Perhaps i've forgotten who i am, i don't remember where i come from. It's mid-life amnesia, a tree that has been rooted out from paradise and planted again in the desert with the company of the cactus....

I don't know if there are people worth sharing my heart with. Perhaps, i don't care much about sharing my world, as much as i do about listening to what others have to say, to what others have to share. I guess i learned to appreciate that more. I can say that this is a strong sign of maturity. I learned to listen more than to speak...

Psycho Killer, Qu'est-ce que c'est?

2009-03-23T21:14:00.000-07:00

You just have to love Talking Head's signature debut hit "Psycho Killer" from 1977. The song is a semi narrative of a psycho killer and his thoughts while committing murder. I also love the use of french. In the lyrics too. Here is the translation of those those:

Original French Verse:
Ce que j'ai fait ce soir-là
Ce qu'elle a dit ce soir-là'
Réalisant mon espoir
Je me lance vers la gloire... OK

Translation in English:
What I did, that evening
What she said, that evening
Fulfilling my hope
Headlong I go for glory... OK

Once you hear this sing, you're hooked to it, you just can't get enough of this funky tune, especially that amazing bass line. One of the greatest classic rock n roll tunes. I bow down to this masterpiece.

Psycho Killer (Talking Heads)

I can’t seem to face up to the facts.
I’m tense and nervous and I... can’t relax.
I can’t sleep, cause my bed’s on fire.
Don’t touch me I’m a real live wire.

Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est?(What is this)
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa better
Run run run run run run run away
OH OH OH

Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est?(What is this)
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa better
Run run run run run run run away
OH OH OH
AY AY AY AY AY WOO

You start a conversation you can't even finish it.
You're talkin' a lot, but you're not sayin' anything.
When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed.
Say something once, why say it again?

Psycho Killer,
Qu'est-ce que c'est?(What is this)
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa better
Run run run run run run run away
OH OH OH

Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est?(What is this)
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa better
Run run run run run run run away
OH OH OH OH
AY AY AY AY

Ce que j'ai fait, ce soir-là
Ce qu'elle a dit, ce soir-là
Réalisant mon espoir
Je me lance vers la gloire(French:What I did, tonight there which she said, tonight there Realizing my hope I launch myself towards glory) ... okay
YA YA YA YA YA YA YA YA YA YA YA YA
We are vain and we are blind
I hate people when they're not polite

Psycho Killer,
Qu'est-ce que c'est?(What is this)
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa better
Run run run run run run run away
OH OH OH

Psycho Killer,
Qu'est-ce que c'est?(What is this)
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa better
Run run run run run run run away
OH OH OH OH
AY AY AY AY OOOH

Hey hey hey ha

To my match out there, wherever you are...

2009-03-23T21:12:00.000-07:00

As the Beatles song goes: "All you need is love, love is all you need". You can't simply run on passion and hard work. You will always need that other person, that muse, that inspiration that fuels you and keeps you going. Otherwise, life would be incomplete, hollow and empty, and no man can run on an empty gas tank :)

Well what is there to say. I can really say a lot about myself. I am honestly not a big fan of online dating services. I think face to face interaction is worth a thousand words. Nothing can beat the old fashioned way. It worked for thousands of years, didn't it?

I am not one of those conventional people. I think outside the box and i am extremely versatile in what i do and i am always open to learning new things and picking up a new habit. That is what i am looking for, someone who is eager to share her thoughts and who is willing to listen and ask questions. That is the key to any successful relationship. In the end, you want someone you can have a conversation with, regardless of the topic, serious, silly, sad, happy, smart... If it means something to you, then it means a lot to me.

I want someone who can be true to herself. Someone who is not afraid of being by herself, someone who doesn't just follow the rest of the crowd. True happiness is only achievable when you stay true to oneself, when you strip yourself of all those faces and garments that we put up for society to accept us. Just follow your own heart. I know this is hard to do, but when you have that other person whom you trust and who accepts you for who you truly are, then you suddenly become invincible and unbreakable.

I want someone who is not afraid of trying, someone willing to go all the way. That is the secret in finding what you want in life. First attractions are a trick of mind. You never get it right the first time. You have to be willing to explore, jump into the unknown, let go and give it all you got. Nothing comes easy in life. You never know what's on the other side unless you are willing to cross that dark hallway and open the door. No one is going to do it for you. You have to do it yourself...

St. Patrick's Day

2009-03-17T09:58:00.000-07:00

Just thought i'd join the Irish in celebrating their heritage by adding a popular traditional Irish song on my blog with some nice images from the green isle. Happy St. Patrick's Day:

Danny Boy

Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side
The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.
But come ye back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow
'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow
Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so.

And if you come, when all the flowers are dying
And I am dead, as dead I well may be
You'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an "Ave" there for me.

And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me
And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be
If you'll not fail to tell me that you love me
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.

I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.

True Heroism and Friendship

2009-03-04T23:05:00.000-08:00

Quoting Youtube user xmarcovinzx:
"GP Holland 1973.

Roger Williamson crashes hard on lap 8, roll his car and catches fire. Only yards away stood a fire tender, but no order was given to stop the race and its driver refused, perhaps rightly, to drive against the direction of the traffic. Worse, marshals with fire extinguishers merely watched as Purley fought a lone battle to right the upturned March. He could hear Williamson inside it. Roger pleaded with him to get him out. Time and again Purley tried to lift the car, but each time he failed. For two laps - at least 2m 47s -the fire was minimal, but then it grew dramatically in intensity. David tried to fight it after grabbing an extinguisher from one marshal, but by then the fire had too strong a hold. As the marshals still remained immobile, appalled spectators began to try and help, unable to believe what they were seeing. Only then were marshals with police dogs galvanized into action, to keep them back. Finally, in the most callous act of cowardice ever seen in motor racing, they moved at last and tried to drag the desolate Purley away. He shrugged them off angrily. Roger was uninjured in the cockpit, but they left him to die of asphyxiation. When they finally arrived, the fire trucks were far, far too late. David Purley : Through his tears he said, "I just couldn't turn it over. I could see he was alive and I could hear him shouting, but I couldn't get the car over. I was trying to get people to help me, and if I could have turned the car over he would have been alright, we could have got him out." Later, when the immediate grief had receded, he admitted, "I didn't even think about the heroism or any of that rubbish. I just did what comes naturally to a trained soldier who sees a fellow in trouble." Ian Philips - journalist and friend : "Purley actually had a conversation with him. David was trying to turn him over and told me afterwards how Roger had said to him, For God's sake, David, get me out of here', and he just couldn't get him out. The circumstances were just appalling. David Purley was later awared the British Imperial George Medal, the second highest (highest being the George Cross) medal that can ever be awarded to a civilian for bravery. "

I saw this video on youtube. I was crying like a baby after seeing it. I could feel Purley's pain and desperation as he tried to rescue Roger Williamson, one failed trial after the other but to no avail, until he angrily gives up feeling utterly helpless all by himself.

I have never seen such powerful act of bravery ever recorded on video. Purley was the only one to stop and give up the race to help his friend. Without hesitation, he parked his car and ran through speeding race cars to the other side of the road where the wreckage lied in flames. Amidst the blazing fire, he rushed to help all by himself, trying to push the car which was lying upside down with Roger trapped inside screaming for help, while the fire marshals and officials stood meters away and watched. Purley had to run to get a fire extinguisher desperately in a futile attempt to put out the fire, as speeding race cars passed by.

Finally Purley gave up disappointed and sad that no one tried to help, that he wasn't able to turn the car over. Watching him give up, breaks my heart and brings me to tears. I can't imagine the pain and suffering he must have felt.

This man is one true hero and a great friend. Even though he wasn't able to save his friend's life, he made the right choice when he forgot about winning and discarded his own safety and single-handedly took on a selfless, hopeless and impossible task.

There is not much one man can do. One man's will and determination may not be able to move mountains but it can touch and inspire countless others to try nevertheless.

Purley may have failed but his try conquers over the cowardice and inaction of others.
He may not have been a race champion but he won the hearts and respect of every man. In the race of life, Purley is the true winner among a sea of losers. Purley proved to be the most humane, the most brave and the most unselfish.

May God bless his soul and may they both rest in peace...

May Angels Lead You In Lyrics
Artist(Band):Jimmy Eat World

There's no one in town I know
You gave us some place to go.
I never said thank you for that.
I thought I might get one more chance.
What would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
So what would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
And if you were with me tonight,
I'd sing to you just one more time.
A song for a heart so big,
god couldn't let it live.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.

Rescue me from my prison

2009-02-08T20:46:00.000-08:00

Sometimes i feel stuck in my own prison. I try to find meaning and pleasure in certain things in life but they never satisfy. The only thing that gives me meaning and objective is my job and work. Four years ago, i would have never imagined myself saying this. i never imagined that work would define my whole life. I never wanted it this way. I am also not blind to this predicament. I realize i am held captive by it. It feels like the only thing that makes sense. At least at work, i feel like i am evolving, growing and more capable. When i try, and try harder, i succeed, unlike other areas in my life.

Is it wrong for one not to accept that which works for him? that which provides for him? It is the logical thing. I try to go to new places, i try to hang out with other friends, i try to meet girls but nothing seems to satisfy. It feels like a waste of time. It gets me nowhere. I fear i can't get myself out of this hole i dug myself into.

I wish someone would lift me up from it. I wish someone would find me and save me from this prison. I can't do it by myself. I need someone to show me something else, to show me that there is something else in life. I know life is not just work, but i can't seem to find anything else at the moment.

To anyone out there, if u hear this, please save me, please free me...

It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock n roll

2009-02-01T16:50:00.000-08:00

Perhaps one of AC/DC's most famous signature songs, i thought it's a good song to share during this time of my life. AC/DC says it best about the hardships of following something you love, about the tough road life of rock n roll on their way to fame and rock n roll glory. It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock n roll and there are no short cuts. The obstacles you will face include:

Getting robbed
Getting stoned
Getting beat up, broken boned
Getting had
Getting took
Getting old
Getting grey
Getting ripped off, underpaid
Getting sold, second hand

Well folks it's tougher than it looks. It keeps getting tougher but we keep doing it, coz no one ever said following your dream was easy. The easy thing would be to give up on your dreams, but rock n roll and life is not about taking the easy path. You will be persecuted, underpaid, cheated, used and abused, yet you must never stop. You keep doing your thing. It's a way of life, doing what you believe in. It's the ultimate goal...

It's a long way to the top (If you wanna rock n roll) - AC/DC

Rolling down the highway, going to a show
Stopping on the by ways, playing rock n roll
Getting robbed, getting stoned
Getting beat up, broken boned
Getting had, getting took
I tell you folks, it's harder than it looks
It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock n roll
It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock n roll
If you think it's easy doing one night stands
Try playing in a rock n roll band
It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock n roll
Hotel motel, make you wanna cry
Baby's on the hard sell, know the reason why
Getting old, getting grey
Getting ripped off, underpaid
Getting sold, second hand
That's how it goes playing in a band
It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock n roll
It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock n roll
If you wanna be a star of stage and screen
Look out it's rough and mean
It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock n roll
Gotta tell ya
It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock n roll
It's a long way, it's a long way, it's a long way

The Price for Freedom

2009-02-01T14:48:00.000-08:00

Sometimes the price for freedom can be very high. It may demand huge sacrifices on your part. Though some may be born with certain freedoms or have it passed on to them by those who came before them. Others have to earn it, have to fight for it on their own.

I believe freedom is the ultimate goal. One life quest can be dedicated to that. Some people spend their lifetime searching for an objective, a noble cause to pursue, never ever finding one as fulfilling or satisfactory. To others it is quite obvious. Their quest is independence and freedom. It may be a deficiency that they don't have it in the first place, but it is a blessing and a great honor that they have the chance and the privilege to follow such a challenge and to be able to be there when they can claim the victory as theirs.

Freedom is never overrated. It's priceless and timeless. It's a tough pursuit and it's a long and pricey battle. It may eat up years of your life and force you to give a lot of pleasures and riches for its sake. It's a bumpy and tough road, not for the weak at heart, but once you reach the summit, once you reach the top, you'll realize nothing could ever match this feeling, you'll realize you had your moment, you took part in it, you bled and fought for it. And though you lost a lot for its sake, in the end you gained everything. Nothing could ever feel more meaningful. Your life will finally make sense...

Even though i stand from a long distance from my summit, yet now i can spot it far in the horizon. Staring at it from far far away, gives me some warmth and some motivation. Imagine if from this distance, its sight may seem so filling, i wonder how it would feel once I'm there. I'm sure the feeling would be overwhelming.

Forever Angel (Axel Rudi Pell)

[1. Verse:]
You were born on judgement day
But you don't care and go your own way
Your living your life and you made your own laws
Fellowship forever, your freeing your souls

[Bridge:]
Riding with the brothers
Through the wind and the rain
You're proud of your color
and can feel no pain

[Chorus:]
Forever angel
Keep on riding
And fight for your rights
Forever angel
Roaring thunder
Through endless nights

[2. Verse:]
Sometimes it seems that you're dancing with the devil
And you recognize that the price for freedom is high
The brotherhood in your life is your highest call
Your the chosen ones, all for one, one for all

Safest Place on Earth

2009-01-25T23:10:00.000-08:00

Once i was chatting with this American woman at my work place. I remember mentioning my trip back home to Lebanon during my vacation. I usually don't like to discuss my country with Americans who don't know much about it, those who don't know where it is, or those who have incorrect perceptions of it. I feel there's no point trying to educate them. How can u educate someone about something as big as a culture thousands of years old?

Anyway, the thing that struck me most was when she asked me with surprise whether it was safe while i was there. Part of me feels upset when people ask me these stupid questions. I can't cope with ignorance, but somehow i can understand. She doesn't know any better. The truth is i feel safer in my country than i do here. Come to think of it, when i look back, i can't remember a moment i felt unsafe while i was home, especially when i know i have family i can always rely on no matter how bad a situation i get myself in. I never even thought about it while i was there. I never thought what it feels like not to feel safe until i came here.

Somehow, i can talk to my own people, i can connect with them. Even though they can be confrontational, I can still understand them. Can an eagle feel scared while it soars in the sky, where it has no equal? Likewise i can never feel scared in my natural habitat. Living here in the city on the other hand has exposed me to the unpredictability of the streets, of poverty and the roughness of capitalism and the laws of natural selection...

Compared to the latter, i feel my country is the safest place on earth.

How to keep going?

2009-01-25T19:33:00.000-08:00

What keeps you going? What motivates you? What makes you not stop? There must be something in the horizon that guides you, that pulls you closer towards it.

The sailor follows the stars and the sun. The mountain climber sees the peak of the mountain he's climbing. The hiker sees the end of the trail lying somewhere in the horizon. The scientist yearns for the next discovery. The engineer designs his next invention and breakthrough. The traveler plans the next trip, somewhere he's never been to. Everyone needs something to keep him going.

What if as you march ahead in the middle of the desert, the heat gets harder, the dryness gets worse. With no water in sight, nothing except sun and sand, you drop on your knees and finally give up. Then suddenly you spot a tree, a well or a human form somewhere far ahead, and then u stand up again and continue your walk back to life.

I feel like i am lost in the middle of the desert. I pushed on even when things seem leading nowhere. I tried not to give and in the scorching desert heat and a dehydrated body, i didn't give up. I kept going, dragging myself when no salvation was in sight. As i walk harder, i see no end in sight. I start to wonder, maybe i should give up and surrender...

I worked so hard, i improved myself and enhanced my skills. I learned to love my work and gave it my best. In the end, i was hoping for something in return, something to pay me back for my accomplishment, something to make me feel that my hard work was worth something, that it was encouraged and appreciated, yet i got nothing. Now i ask myself, what keeps me going? What's the point of it all? I'm just a sailor lost in the middle of the sea with no land in sight. As i push farther, i seem to get lost even more...

The Loser's Story

2009-01-25T18:53:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wondered why they always write stories and shoot movies of people who started from nothing and then succeeded in their life and reached their goals working their way up to the top. It's always about the winners, the people who tried and made it.

Have you ever asked yourself: how about the others, the unheard ones? What about those who tried and failed? Are they not worthy of being mentioned of their story being told? Is it always about those who finished the race? What about those who trained hard, day and night and got injured in the middle of the race, never making it to the end.

The general notion is that accomplishment is based on success, the end product, the journey's destination. People value and admire winners. All the others are considered failures. However i believe that failure is by "not trying", and not by "trying and not succeeding". The truth is, life is not always fair. Hard work is not always rewarded appropriately. That belief may stop many from even trying. The true accomplishment is the will and determination to work hard, to exceed your capability and to do something you enjoy and like, regardless of whether you'll make it at the end, or whether your story will make it to the news.

So please don't give me another story or movie about someone who made it, defeated all the odds and surpassed all obstacles and made a fortune or earned fame and power out of nothing. History may treasure those, but i'd rather hear the real every day story of the guy who kept trying even though he never really made it. I can connect with that.

Inauguration Day

2009-01-20T22:49:00.000-08:00

I just watched the historic inauguration speech. You would think that with the new president being sworn in, people would feel more optimistic, yet the day ended with a massive sellout on Wall Street. It was a bad day today. Market sentiment is extremely pessimistic. Still i can't help but feel relieved that Bush & Cheney are finally gone...

Major Disappointments

2009-01-11T22:04:00.000-08:00

THe last year i worked hard. I learned a lot of new skills and managed to produce so many cool applications. The application possibilities that can be built on my work are numerous if exploited and planned properly. There is a lot to be done from here.

I worked in my own time, at home, late at nights. There was a time i got sick from too much work. I was not always encouraged to pursue these ideas. I did it mostly on my own. I enjoyed doing it. I guess that was the major driving factor. When the time came, I demonstrated my work and i was able to impress. None could deny my achievements and breakthroughs. It was openly admitted by my superiors...

THen at the end of the year when i thought i'd be appropriately rewarded, and my hard work acknowledged, i was given nothing, absolutely nothing. I feel so disappointed. I also feel insulted, that by not being compensated for my extra hard work, it makes me feel of less value to my company. They send the wrong message, that hard work is not worth it, that when i give more, i don't get anything in return. They have offended my own work, by belittling and ignoring its importance.

It really breaks me to have reached this point. I have to live with that for now, but i can't wait for the day when i have to quit and change my job to something better, that my employers will finally realize how stupid they were, they will realize how important i was to them. I honestly pity the person who'll try to fill in on my salary. Only then, will they realize their negligence, disrespect and stupidity.

We all want to be fairly treated. We want what's rightfully ours. Hard work should be rewarded and loyalty cherished. You may enjoy what you do, but that is one factor of many other factors essential for a job. If you are not being appreciated, and adequately rewarded, then you should move on, somewhere where you are valued and properly treated...

My artistic side revived

2009-01-11T21:41:00.000-08:00

While i was back home, i tried to pick up on one of my hobbies which i enjoy quite a lot and i really don't get the chance to explore here in the States, especially when most of my time is devoted to my job. It has to do with my artistic side, a side every one of us has, a side which constantly needs to be explored and nourished.

It had been a while since i last made a clay sculpture, precisely 3 and a half years long. Some people may just give up and move on after this long break, but i chose to try once more to prove i still have it in me, to prove that art is instinctive and not a learned skill. There is still basics to be learned but the rest, you pick up with actual practice and you never forget.

I chose a favourite sculpture of mine. A statue i had already tried to make 2 times before. It was the Rodin's "Thinker" statue. THis is the third time i do it. THe first time i couldn't finish it and it solidified beyond change. THe second time i finished it but then i accidently broke it. THe third time was the charm. It was more challenging to work on it in a shorter period of time and without any 3d model but a bunch of pictures I donwloaded from the internet of the statue taken from different angles. The result was a masterpiece I am quite proud of. I had failed before but i kept trying until I finally got it right. I surpassed the odds and i was victorious.

It feels great to know i can still carve statues. Even though it's been a long time since i've worked on one. Time is never a factor when it comes to talent. As they say, it's inborn. It's there deep down. All you have to do is give it a chance to surface and develop. I do it for myself mostly, not for money or recognition. It gives me peace and it opens my mind to a different way of thinking. To be able to create and bring something beautiful to life. THat is a great ability. It's one of those divine qualities of man...

Sculpture requires a lot of patience. THere's a lot of work involved. I always admired the idea of the renaissance man, like those people back in the days like Leonardo Da Vinci. THey were scientists, artists, philosophers, mathmatecians, astronomers, anatomists and engineers all at once. THey seem so well rounded. I like to be like that. I have my artistic side, my engineer side and my writing skills. It makes me feel complete and fully using all my potentials. Wish i had more time to explore each trait...

I left it back home on the shelves of my bedroom. It will stand there for years to come, meant to live and last longer than i would, to survive the test of time...

Trip to Paris Evaluation

2009-01-11T21:12:00.000-08:00

I had always wanted to go somewhere new, to be entirely by myself and manage without any help. I guess it was always like a test. Though it is really not so hard to do, especially when you're going to an extremely tourist friendly city, but still if you had known me more than 5 years ago, you'd realize how far i've come. My trip to Paris was like that. It had several objectives and this was one of them.

Overall this trip was a great success. I made the most out of it. I had organized it quite well from the beginning to the end. I was able to pull it off. THere were a few set backs on the way, but i pulled it through. I proved myself. I wasn't doing it for others. I did it for myself. I am quite satisfied. My greatest joy and fulfillment comes from my independence. It's amazing what a single mind free from external control can do when it is left to thrive and flourish. TO be able to control one's fate and plan one's future the way you like is really indescribable. Freedom is never overrated.

It was an amazing adventure I had embarked on. I learned much from it. I also explored my capabilities, and my ability to adapt and survive. Now the door has been opened. THe possibilies are numerous. I should not fear change. I have been tested and i have succeeded. THere are other different challenges to come. I should not fear. Even by myself, i can do it. I can beat the odds. I can conquer the obstacles, and when i reach the finish line, i know i can look back to my magical journey with great confidence and satisfaction, knowing i made it and i made it my way...

Vacation Overview

2009-01-11T20:54:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's over. It passed by so fast. Many times i felt so worried i couldn't really savor the moment. I always feel somehow guilty after each trip back home. I feel maybe i haven't done enough. I get reminded how amazing it is to have a beautiful small family like mine and most of all my mother. Here, i am all by myself, i have to take care of myself. Back home, my mother is just unmatchable. It always hurts when i am back in LA after a trip home.

I also feel guilty perhaps i have given up my family and my homeland for something less, something not really worth sacrificing for. I retain hope and faith that it will pay off, the sacrifice will be justified. It will make sense, but as time goes, my frustration increases and my hope dims.

I haven't had the chance to write anything on my blog throughout my vacation. I felt after i come back i would have more time and i would be able to see things clearer. Sometimes the big picture is clearer when u look at it from a distance. Things feel clearer with time or distance. Of course after a long time or distance, you start to forget and you get confused. I think it should be long enough for one not to be too subjective or too emotional. U know for example, there r things that really annoyed me during my stay back home, but after i left, they ceased to be important, just little details...

My other trip to Paris was like a dream, or like a long trip to a museum that never ends. It's just images, like beautiful paintings. It was mostly tourism, me, a map, a camera and the strength of my legs. Back home, it was more about people, and people have longer lasting impressions. People r real, there's history, there's connection to ur past, present and future. It's people that make the difference in one's life...

Fading Friendships

2009-01-11T20:28:00.000-08:00

I was back home for the holidays. I wanted to talk about one particular thing that stuck with me while i was there. I tried to contact some of my old friends. I saw some of them, but there were some that i couldn't see. I wanted to see them, but they didn't seem interested. It was disappointing becoz i had spent a considerable number of years with those friends. I don't describe them as close friends, but still i wouldn't mind keeping in touch with them. It seems to be a trend, every couple of years when i go back, i feel these friendships fade more and more. I know i did my part, but they didn't do theirs. It's not only that they were too lazy or supposedly to busy to try. It seemed they weren't interested in keeping our connection. There are still good friends worthy of keeping in touch with. I will do my best with the little time i have everytime i am back home. However, the others will no longer even matter at some point. In the end, it is their biggest loss. THe least and the simplest thing one can do is have a cup of coffee with old friends, catch up and share stories. THat still seemed too much for some. I was not even invited to one couple's engagement party, even though i had recently met up with the fiance. Makes you wonder...

Well, i am not gonna linger on those incidents. The world is much bigger than that. There are many people out there, old friends worthy to keep and interesting new ones to make...

Stop the massacre in Gaza

2009-01-11T18:23:00.001-08:00

I start my first post this year with the conflict in Gaza. I think it is a moral duty and obligation to voice my opposition to this new war. I think every human being should oppose this human catastrophe. When will the Israelis ever learn their lesson that violence only creates more violence. Hatred breeds more hatred. This conflict will never end, and as long as Israel is always trigger happy, generations upon generations will grow with hatred towards it. Fundamentalism will thrive, when nothing else works, when the whole world seem to abandon the Palestinians and leave them to the fate of the war machine.

Gaza had already been suffering 3 years of economic embargo. THey were being choked to submission, and they wonder why this conflict started in the first place. Why did Fatah lose power in palestine? WHy did the people vote Hamas to power? Well when the so called moderate Fatah are only concerned with themselves and unable to give their own people anything and are willing to sell out to stay in power and remain as puppets to Israelis. Fatah is highly corrupt and in desperation the palestinians voted for Hamas, even though many do not support their ideology. They aimed to choose the less corrupt, the ones they thought would not sell them out. It's silly everytime i c westerners wonder why Hamas came to power.

Anyway, let's face it. War in densely populated urban area like Gaza will only lead to a massacre, and a heavy toll on civilian casualties. THose people have no war to go, no war to escape. It's gonna be a slaughter. I also doubt if Israel will achieve it's goals. I even wonder if this is nothing but a political boost to the Israelis running for election in the coming month. It's a joke, playing with people's lives to gain power.

How about reporters not being allowed to go in to Gaza to report on the conflict? How about humanitarian aid barely being allowed in to the war zone? These are serious questions. The Israel say they are warning the civilians by leaflets to leave an area before they attack it, but come on, where can they go? Is there a safe place in Gaza? THey're stuck there, all borders are closed, if they ever can make it to one...

THen they talk about Israel being under attack with rockets, which are home made, inaccurate, militarily and strategically useless and basically only meant to tick off israel. One human life lost is too much, regardless what side it is. However let's face it, this is a joke. I mean come on give me a break. When will the double standards stop to apply? Look at the number of casualties in Gaza, the dead, the wounded, the starving of people, the little children killed, the incredible destruction of infrastructure and civilian facilities, no water, no fuel, no electricity, no shelter, no safe haven, no where to run. I remember watching a video clip of Israelis being interviewed after a Hamas rocket landed in an Israeli area. THe alarm sounded and people were hiding in shelters until the rocket landed. Of course most israelis support the war as they always do. However, one Israeli girl struck me. THe reporter asked her if she supported the war and unexpected she replied no. She said this will only make things worst, she said, at least Israelis had a way to be warned, shelters to hide, but Palestenians had non of that. THen they asked her what solution she believed would solve the problem and she answered, having people from both sides meet and talk together. I have to say, i wish there were more people like her. The hate cycle would end, countless lives would be spared, peace would be possible...

Enough is enough, let's stop this. When will ever say that enough people have died? Is there really such a number? It's been done before, countless times and there were no winners, only losers. Hatred, destruction and death. THese will be the only winners in this conflict. Just keep throwing more fuel into the fire, keep feeding the hate for more generations to come...

I'll be home for christmas this year

2008-12-15T11:17:00.001-08:00

I'm leaving soon on my vacation. For the first time in 4 years i'll get to go back home for christmas. It's been a while. This has always been the best time for me while growing up. It brings back lots of memories of childhood. It brings back memories of winter back home. I have forgotten how the winter back home really feels like. Then again, the old memories of this time of year still linger on even after years of distance. I remember how magical and surreal this time always felt for me. Everytime it was around, i felt like i was a little boy once more. It brings back a sense of tradition, a long one, goes back as far as i can remember. I don't know y i gave it so much meaning, not that it lacks any, but it really touched me more than anything else. It was not always cheerful and jolly, there were times of silence and sadness but it brought some meaning, life and hope to me, made me aware of my existence. If i look back to my childhood and young adult memories, it's hard to remember many events, but there is one time i remember more than others, it is this time of the year.

I don't know if it will be the same this year. I don't know if i'll be able to relive the memories. Many things have changed since then. I have changed too. I don't believe in it the same way i did before. However, i know as i walk again in the home that i grew up, i will be able to trace the footsteps of those little boys running to that christmas tree, early christmas morning with eyes so wide shining with excitement opening those carefully wrapped colored gifts. I remember those days. I remember when i used to get everything i ever wanted, though it was not really much but i was happy. It meant the whole world to me. I was satisfied. Long gone r those days. Long gone is the innocence and simplicity of childhood.

Feeling the blues

2008-12-11T21:35:00.000-08:00

It is strange that even though i'm taking a long vacation next week, as the day of my departure gets closer, i feel sadder and sadder. I have this feeling that i'm all alone. I used to get this feeling every now and then. I could live with that, but lately it's getting worse as i approach the date of my departure. I feel as if everything i had accomplished was not enough. Even though i worked hard the past few months, it was good for a time, but then it quickly passed away, and i struggled to work harder so as to feel good about myself again. It's like getting high on drugs. The feeling is only good for a short time. One day u save the world, the next day u're a nobody. One day i'm on top of the mountain, the next day i'm in a deep bottomless pit. Truth is i want to be left alone, but at the same time i desire to be needed, accepted and loved. It may not make sense so let me clarify that. I either want it all, or i want nothing. I don't want to be needed part time, halfway. I want to be needed full time and all the way. It is becoz i have deep needs and i expect them to be fulfilled. If they are not, then i'm not gonna fall victim to my merciless expectations. I want something pure and true. I am not satisfied with anything else.

I feel i have no one i can talk to. Even the ones i usually trust, they have failed me too. I could not count on them. I am glad though, i have this place to vent. I need to release some built up pressure. I have been sick lately so i couldn't even release steam by exercising. It's frustrating...

I really need something to pull me up the next coming days. I feel like i'm sucked down into an raging ocean, I struggle trying to keep my head out of the water for air, while my feet are shackled and weighed down. I need another drug shot to keep me going. It's a one time holiday, it's justifiable. I am allowed to ask for that. Perhaps by the time the climax fades, it'll be over and i'll be back here, but my vacation would not have been spoiled. I need this. I know giving an alcoholic more alcohol is never a good solution, but what's the harm if i'm already addicted? Just a bit more. I'll have a bit more time afterward to find a long term cure...

The Joys of Producing & Creating Things

2008-12-06T16:53:00.000-08:00

Ever since i was a little i liked to build things. I liked to create things with my hands. I was a LEGO guru. There was nothing i couldn't build. I used the LEGO brick in ways no one even tried to imagine. I even used to create figures using aluminum foils. I don't think anybody has ever tried that before. I really was into that. It was always about creating things, being hands on. Even when i went to engineering school. I really was bored with all the theoretical stuff. I just wanted to go out there and work as an engineer and produce things, create cool applications, etc...

When i came to the US, i was shocked to find out how engineers and actual workers were so undervalued. Everybody wants to be a manager. They are regarded as the key catalyst to a successful business. I never got that. Even engineers wanted to become managers. I know a friend of mine who started applying for an MBA 1 year after working. He's just one of many. He would complain to me that that's where the money is and he doesn't want to be an engineer all his life. Even a colleague of mine once told me that anybody can program but not anybody can be a manager. There are cases of people applying for MBAs with no work experience even. WHat do they really have to offer? Money out of thin air, that's how i describe how managers are viewed by corporations.

I never understood that. It never made sense to me how management positions are so over hyped and worshiped in this country. You're nobody unless u're a manager. It's all about being a leader and having leadership qualities. I think my previous post about the GM and Toyota boat race, explains my point clearly. What ever happened to the joys and pride of producing and creating things? DO u really have a product without engineers? Of course not. I think it's ridiculous. Now you basically have more management positions than actual engineering positions. I mean what does a manager really do? How can you quantify his success? Is it really his achievement or the worker's achievement? Does he really work? Is he getting credited for other people's work?

TO me being a manager is like retiring. Sitting there and making management decisions, is not real work. I can't measure it. I can't claim ownership. I can do it as a part time. I don't see it as a full time responsibility. I mean, it's essential that you have good management, though i feel you don't need as many as they have here in most companies. You just need a fraction of those. You need a few good ones and a lot of those fancy titles are pretty much useless. In addition why is management so overpaid? and the people who actually create the product underpaid? Can a company survive without it's production team? Even a good manager is one who's had enough work and production experience. I really feel that creativity and innovation all stems from the power of production and creating new things and bringing new ideas into life.

It's remarkable how people at graduation really desire to make something, to work in something they love and are interested in regardless how much it pays, to get their hands dirty and apply what they learned but the reality on the ground changes their perspective and then everybody just wants to go for the money position, they want to become managers. It makes you wonder what happened there in between?

If u think about it, what does America produce? Probably software is the only real thing that's left and services of course. Everything else is outsourced and manufactured abroad. I also feel this will have bad repercussions in the future. Most young people want to go into business and management with little demand for other engineering positions. All engineering positions are foreign skilled workers. In the end, America will become a nation of money sucking, fat walleted managers with pretty much nothing to offer.

I think with the recent financial meltdown, it has come to light how many of these high executive positions are over hyped, overpaid and really dispensable and it has magnified the importance of real asset production. Most of the massive layouts are from high executive positions and managers which really are the money sucking positions and the ones not really needed for basic operation. I hope that this crisis will emphasize and highlight the importance of real work and actual production. There is an urgent need to go back to fundamentals.

I know I for sure after more than 2 years of actual engineering work wouldn't trade my job for a management position even if it pays higher. It doesn't interest me and it would feel like retiring for me when i still have so much more to offer. My field is a vast and immense one. The opportunities are endless. The possibilities are limitless and i want to explore them. I just want my work to be valued, respected and fairly rewarded.

Auto Industry Analogy

2008-12-06T16:20:00.000-08:00

Of course you've heard of the Detroit's Big 3 woes and the auto industry bailout. Last i heard, the bailout has passed. It's been in the talks for quite a while. Who could have known that the people who first invented the car, would go down to almost failing and going bankrupt. They've truly come a long way down hill.

There was this interesting analogy i read a couple of weeks ago. You can access it on the following link. I have also added it here. I think it really explains how those companies have been running their businesses the past decades. I think it also explains a lot of this nation's problems and how this country really produces or manufactures nothing anymore. Everything is either outsourced or gets manufactured abroad in cheap labor countries mainly China. All that's left is a bunch of overpaid, over hyped and at many times useless huge number of managers with fancy titles and meaningless specialization:

"Toyota and GM decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River.

Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.

BUT on the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.

The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.

Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing. So American management hired a consulting company referred to them by the US Government and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion.

The consultants advised that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing. To prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized into 3 steering supervisors, 1 area steering superintendents, 1 publicity manager, 1 HR diversity coordinator, 1 union rep, and a rower.

They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the "Rowing Team Quality First Program", with a lunch and a free company pen for the rower. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes, and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and performance-tied bonuses but that decision was held up in committee.

BUT the next year the Japanese won by two miles.

Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment.

The money from all sales and all forecasted moneys saved from further competition was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year's racing team was out-sourced to India.

The end."

Black Friday

2008-12-06T14:57:00.000-08:00

A temp worker died after being trampled to death at a Wal-Mart in New York on Black Friday, the friday after thanksgiving thursday. Apparently the crowds waiting outside early morning broke the barrier and stampeded inside to get the best deals first. His colleagues tried to help him out as the crowds rushed in, but they were trampled too. What's even worse, is that when the cops came in and were trying to close the area for investigation, some of the shoppers started complaining that they had been waiting for hours to get it.

Well, i think i previously wrote about what i think on this whole irrational shopping obsession. THis is sickening. I mean those people r like savages. They're like animals. Saving money and getting a flat screen TV on discount is more valuable than human life to many people. It's quite sad and frightening. I've seen recorded footage of shoppers rushing into stores as soon as they opened their doors on Black Friday. I have to say, it's despicable and shocking to c adults behave like that, to see them fight for products. U have to come down really low to reach that level. Where is ur dignity? It's just stuff u buy for God's sake. Most of the time u don't even need it. How can people behave like uncivilized and barbaric mindless zombies? I mean i just can't understand that. I can't imagine what their lives r like when they go down like that...

Here's a bunch of interesting clips i found online that has to do with Black Friday:

Visit to the Doctor

2008-12-06T14:47:00.000-08:00

Ok, so i went to a clinic to check my hand. I had a small lump in it. Anyway, when my turn came, i went in, they checked my weight, temperature, my blood pressure and asked me a bunch of questions. U know, the usual. So when the doctor came in, i showed her my hand, and she asked me a couple of questions. She didn't even touch it. She then handed me some printouts from the internet and told me it was nothing to worry about.

SO the important thing about this incident, is that i later found out that I was charged $150 for this check up! My crappy insurance covers a fraction of it. However i can't believe what a ****ing rip off this was. I mean the whole thing was like less than 10 minutes and they practically did nothing. All they did was give me psychological reassurance, nothing else. Does that cost $150!?!?! That is unbelievable. Truly, there is no doubt that healthcare in the US is the worst in the world. I have insurance only for emergencies since ER visits can cost a fortune and there r cases when they would dump u on the street of u either don't have insurance or money to pay for ur overpriced treatment. Let's not talk about the service too. So yeah, i just have insurance for emergencies, life and death situations.

It must be difficult living in this country and being sick, unless u're really rich and have health insurance. I don't know about u, but i think it's cheaper for me to fly back home and get medical treatment over there then to go to a hospital over here, and that's a fact. Plus i get better service. THis is disgraceful for the United States of America. Not only is it disgraceful, it is also unacceptable...

Lebanese National Anthem

2008-11-22T19:12:00.000-08:00

Today, the 22nd November 2008, marks the 65th independence day of Lebanon. I thought it'd be a good occasion to share the Lebanese National Anthem with the world. The last 3 decades have been marked with turmoil and division. Hope the day, when we are truly independent and united, will truly come in my lifetime at least.

Unlike most national anthems, this national anthem is truly good and righteous and you feel its devoted for a higher purpose. Major themes include: striving for perfection, bravery, pride with the national treasures, hard work, honor, loyalty to the nation.

Whereas most other national anthems are more aggressive, confrontational and egoistic. I have to say i'm proud of my national anthem. I am glad everytime i sing it, i don't sing about going to arms, invading other countries, about being superior to others, about being number 1. I mean there's more to being a citizen of a country than all that primitive ideology.

Hopefully one day we can truly live by the themes of our anthem. God bless Lebanon...

Lebanese National Anthem (by Wadih Sabra)
Original in Arabic

كلنـا للوطـن للعـلى للعـلم
ملء عين الزّمن سـيفنا والقـلم
سهلنا والجبـل منبت للرجـال
قولنا والعمـل في سبيل الكمال
كلنا للوطن للعلى للعلم
كلّنا للوطن

شيخنـا والفتـى عنـد صـوت الوطن
أسـد غـاب متى سـاورتنا الفــتن
شــرقنـا قلبـه أبــداً لبـنان
صانه ربه لمدى الأزمان
كلنا للوطن للعلى للعلم
كلنا للوطن

بحـره بــرّه درّة الشرقين
رِفـدُهّ بــرّهُ مالئ القطبين
إسمـه عـزّه منذ كان الجدود
مجــدُهُ أرزُهُ رمزُهُ للخلود
كلّنا للوطن للعلى للعلم
كلّنا للوطن

Transliteration

Kulluna Lil watan lil ola lil alam
Mil ’ou Ayn il Zaman Sayfouna Wal Qalam,
Sahlouna Wal jabal, Manbiton Lirrijal
Qawlouna Wal 'Amal. Fi sabil il Kamal.
Koullouna Lil watan Lil ’Oula Lil 'ALam, Koullouna Lil watan.

Shaykhouna Wal fata 'India saout il Watan
Ousdou GhaBin Mata SawaratNa lfitan
Sharkouna Qalbuhu AbaDan Loubnan
Sanahou RabBhou Li maDa l Azman
Koullouna Lil watan Lil ’Oula Lil 'ALam, Koullouna Lil watan.

Bahrouhou Barrouhou Dourratoush Sharqain
Rifdouhou Birrouhou Mali ‘oul Qoutbain
Ismouhou 'Izzouhou Mounthou Kan al Joudoud
Majdouhou Arzouhou Ramzouhou Lil khouloud
Koullouna Lil watan Lil ’Oula Lil 'ALam, Koullouna Lil watan.

English translation

We are all for our nation, for our flag and glory!
Our valor and our writings are the envy of the ages.
Our mountains and our valleys, they bring forth stalwart men.
And to Perfection all our efforts we devote.
We are all for our Nation, for our flag and glory!

Our Elders and our children, they await our Country's call,
And on the Day of Crisis they are as Lions of the Jungle.
The heart of our East is forever Lebanon,
May God preserve it until the end of time.
We are all for our Nation, for our flag and glory!

The Gems of the East are its land and sea.
Throughout the world its good deeds flow from pole to pole.
And its name is its glory since time began.
The Cedar Symbol—its symbol for Eternity—is its Pride.
We are all for our Nation, for our flag and glory!

The Unrecognized Artist

2008-11-22T14:48:00.000-08:00

I've been working hard lately. I finished a huge project, perhaps the biggest one i've worked on and the most impressive. Even though it impressed my employer, still i'm far from satisfied. Every day i struggle with this. I want more. I need more.

I know i'm worth more. If incompetent executives making millions of dollars ended up running this country into recession. Then hell yes i'm worth a lot more. At least i produce something. I can create stuff.

Let's face it. This world is unfair. People who r dumb as doorknobs, usually smooth talkers, end up making millions while the hard working little guys who make it possible, struggle to pay the bill. I'm like those struggling artists who r discovered after their time. I just hope i don't have to wait till i'm dead for someone to discover me :)

Gadgets Killed by Smart Phones

2008-11-17T23:02:00.001-08:00

I read this article today by Charlie Sorrel about 5 gadgets that were killed by the cellphone and the next one on the list of extinction. According to Sorrel, the 5 gadgets were: PDA, Camera, UMPC, phone, MP3 player and next on the list is the notebook.

The user comments on the article added these other gadgets too: pagers & beepers, calculator, alarm clock, gps and watch.

Here's what i think of this topic, my viewpoint as an engineer and someone who works in internet application. I believe that with the launch and success of the iPhone and now the coming of the BlackBerry Storm, Google G1 and many more to come, the smart phones trend has kicked off. I also believe that the introduction of Google's Android Operating System for cell phones will make the competition even stronger and bring back many players into the game, cellphone companies that don't manufacture software can now make use the Google operating system to compete against the iPhone. In addition, the open source element and apple opening up for third party application has even skyrocketed the popularity of smart phones. Now anyone can develop applications for smart phones for fun or for commercial purposes.

However, i c this new trend as an extension, a market that was not tapped into. I don't c it as a replacement of another technology in general. In other words, people before were not used to the idea of smart phones, having the internet/computer in one's palm anywhere one goes. Thus the idea is fairly new, at least in terms of implementation and feasibility. The concept is not new, but it was never as efficiently and feasibly implemented as it is today. I believe, the main reason is the operating system. Having a computer environment in ur cellphone, to browse a fully featured browser instead of a stripped down version. Of course, many other factors, such as the touch screen technology, Wi-Fi, and let's not forgot the Apple coolness factor.

Ok so i'll give my opinion on the gadgets discussed above which the author and commentators believe will be killed off by smart phones:

PDA: I have to agree on this. It's quite obvious, PDAs don't make sense anymore. Smart phones are basically PDAs with internet and phone capability.
Camera: I don't agree on this. Though smart phone now come with built in cameras, i doubt people will stop using digital still image cameras and video cameras. The phone camera is a cool handy feature but the quality is far below the quality of the latest cameras. I doubt u'll ever c tourists taking pictures with cellphones. The advantage is that people carry their phones with them wherever they go so if they need to snap quick photos, it's definitely handy especially in unexpected situations. However when people go out on a trip or planned vacation, they'll always bring a camera. This is especially true for professionals and photography experts.

UMPC (Ultra Mobile PC): These are also known as netbooks or mini-laptops. They're basically stripped down versions of laptops mostly for internet usage. I don't think these will kick off anyway. They have a relatively small market. They're good for traveling, and i still think they're relatively expensive. I would say, the trend of making laptops smaller, thinner and lighter will take over and this won't be an issue. It was never a serious product anyway.

land line phone: Hmm, regardless, land lines will always be needed, especially for secure data transfer and heavy bandwidth usage. So cable haters, sorry to disappoint you. I also believe with the introduction of fiber optics, and light transmission technologies, land lines will remain competitive, especially for ultra fast data transmission. As for phone lines, i confess i have a phone line which i don't use, but i had to get it only for my DSL internet. One thing for sure, pay phones are getting less and less. However cell phones still have connectivity/bad reception issues and land lines are more reliable in that terms especially in storms, and may come in cheaper plans. I would say, cell phones will continue to eat out the land line phones shares but i don't c land lines becoming extinct at least in the near future. Land lines are still useful for home uses.

MP3 player: This is interesting since many think apple products are cannibalizing their own products especially the ipod touch which is an iphone without the phone feature. I think the ipod touch is a special case, but the ipod in general is still popular and will be for a long time.
I would say no. 2 Reasons: Battery & storage capacity. Ipods offer up to 100+ gigs of storage, whereas smart phones including iphones offer a fraction of that. In addition would u want to waste cellphone battery power on music listening? i mean once ur cellphone battery is out, that's it, u're in the dark. Until the time when smart phones offer 10 times the capacity they offer and the batteries last longer, i think this is far fetched. I hardly know anybody who uses their smart phones as a heavy duty mp3 player.

notebook (next to be killed): I strongly disagree. That is nowhere true. Who would want to replace their 15.4" laptop with a tiny screen and a tiny keypad and work on it 8 hours a day? Let's not even start on this. Do u want to word process on a tiny smart phone? I'm sorry but i find that ridiculous. How about spreadsheets, imagine/video editing, word processing, money software, tax software, architecture, interior/graphic design, software development, video watching? I doubt u can do that on a smartphone. Smart phones were never meant to replace laptops. As i said in the beginning, it's an extension. It's going into untapped resources, the open road, when u have no other means. That's when u use ur cellphone. As for serious work, u'll always use ur laptop/desktop. Some say in the future u'll be able to plug in ur smart phone into a bigger screen but i don't c that for now. The cellphone is still too small to be as reliable.

pagers & beepers: I didn't know they still sell those? I've never even seen anyone use those. They've already gone the way of the dinosaur.

calculator: Hmm, i don't know. When i was a student, cellphones were not allowed during exams, u had to use calculators only since cellphones could be used for cheating. I still think this will be used by students at least becoz cellphones will never be allowed in classroom exams. In addition, i still c clerks who use those big bulky basic calculators, even though there r tons of other software calculator applications. I think if those calculators are still used, they can survive the smart phone invasion.

alarm clock: Yeah i'm one of those who stopped using alarm clocks except as backups. I use my cellphone alarm. I guess it's possible. Cellphones may out phase them.

gps: yeah i think GPS gadgets will no longer be sold separately in the future. After all, the screen size is almost the same, between cellphones and the new GPS receivers. I think GPS receivers will be phased out by smart phones. I wouldn't invest in GPS devices. That's for sure.

Watch: I have to disagree on this. I always keep a watch in my hand. I wear it when i'm awake, when i'm sleeping, when i'm swimming, when i'm jogging, when i'm taking a bath, anywhere i go. It's almost a part of me. I feel naked without it. Ever since clocks were invented, it was sure that they'd never go out of phase. There was a trend to make watches do what cellphones are doing now, like stop watch, alarm, calculators. That's out of date. It's no longer an issue. However for the basic time telling, watches are the most practical. You'll never forget it and u don't need to take it out of ur pocket. It's part of u. In addition, they can be water resistant, shock resistant. I can imagine myself without a cellphone but not without a watch. In addition, their battery last years without recharging. In addition, watches are fashion items. People will always buy fancy watches even if they don't tell the time correctly. They'll pay thousands of dollars for them too. Some even buy more than one watch, to go with their different styles and colors...

Ok, i'll stop here. I think it was an interesting discussion. It'll be exciting to c how well my predictions go :)

The voice of America: Hollywood Celebrities

2008-11-17T13:47:00.001-08:00

Hollywood celegrities have always been outspoken about many topics. They have supported anti poverty movements, anti-war, environmental issues, anti-toture, anti-guns, anti-corruption, equality, nondiscrimination, justice... The list is very long. I applaud them for it. No one can deny their contributions.

However i find it hilarious when Hollywood celebrities start giving advice about morality and family values. I mean come on people. THat sounds quite absurd to be. The last person i'd ask for advice concerning family or morality, would be a hollywood celebrity. I mean those guys are great actors but when it comes to family, they're clueless and have no credentials at all. If you are naive enough to ask me why i doubt their judgment. I'd say look at their track record. What speaks best about a person other than their own experience and history. That's y u have tabloid magazines. THose celebrities keep supplying them with tons of material, tons of scandals. It's a well that never runs dry. That's y as long as there r celebrities, gossip magazines will never run out of business.

I don't even want to start on this stuff. Even if i want to talk about it, i don't know where to end: drugs, alcohol, DUIs, prostitutes, cheating on their partners, kids out of wedlock, getting wasted every night, numerous divorces, child neglect. Any twisted thing you may think of, they'd probably done it. If you want them as role models to ur children, then i feel sorry for them.

So plz when Hollywood celebrities start to back some issues such as gay marriage, don't get too excited and defiant. That doesn't legitimize the issue. Let those guys put their act together, clean up their own mess before they start telling me how to live, and dictating to me what's right and what's wrong. If u value their opinions, stick to the tabloid magazine. That's what they do best. I on the other hand, would rather stick to the movies. THey're good actors, nothing more than that. I don't give a damn about their personal life.

Animal Rights above Human Rights?

2008-11-17T13:20:00.000-08:00

So the past weekend i was checking out some video clips on youtube. I was watching a lot of funny clips on cats. THey're quite funny and addictive. Anyway, so i started reading the comments and then i notice how people seem to value animals more than human beings. I am totally against torturing animals or any form of animal cruelty but for God's sake people, wake up!

There was a clip were one guy was washing his cat in a tab and the cat was purring in discontent. THen i find most of the comments bashing the owner of the cat. I mean come on people, some common sense here.

THen there were many other clips of interaction between human babies and cats, u know babies playing with cats and stuff. I notice that more people were worried about the well being of the cats rather than babies. Come on, i'd be more worried about the kid who may get seriously scratched. I mean, cats can take care of themselves. They're hunters instinctively. They can hold their own. If they feel annoyed or threatened they'll run away or fight back. SOme claimed they hate babies and think animals are cuter. Keep in mind i'm protraying a nice version of their comments. THe real version can be quite ugly with a lot of "F" words involved.

THen, there were some clips of fat spoiled cats where the comments were aimed at the owners of the cat and that they are *******s for torturing their cats by feeding them that way. It wasn't a remark, they were being hostile and offensive.

Another clip showed a cat hissing at the veterenarian. Some were calling it torture. I mean, i don't think the cat would be taken to the vet if it wasn't for its welfare. It's either that or the street for the cat. I don't think the cat is complaining.

I can keep going on and on. I chose a watered down version of what i read and saw. It definitely got to me as u can tell.

I have to say, there is a big problem out there. I have always felt that americans care more about their animals than about human beings. I don't know how they reached that point. I am sure if americans see a dying man on the street, they would probably ignore him or maybe call the cops and get going. Whereas if they see an animal in distress, they'd definitely take care of it, feed it, take it to the vet and even adopt it. Anyway, it's quite sickening. I also would like to extend my bashing to the PETA organization who r a bunch of spoiled, silly, naive, stupid people who have nothing else in life to do. GO fight for a real cause and stop whining about ur animal rights.

If you want to fight for a real cause, go protest against hunger, against poverty, against war, against discrimination, fight for justice, equality, peace... Believe me, the world is not short of issues and causes to fight for. I am against animal cruelty but let's keep it real. THere r those who would burn cats and cut them open for fun. THose are sick people. However, if a cat complains about having a bath, don't go bitching about animal cruelty. I bet that cat gets better care than i do. Frickin' ridiculous. Wake up people! I mean, i can't imagine if the world was run by such people. The human race would probably become extinct.

Mormon Church Singled out by Gay Marriage Supporters

2008-11-09T21:16:00.000-08:00

So Proposition 8 passed the past week. 52% of Californians voted to define marriage as between a man and a woman.

So the gay marriage supporters have been protesting the past week, in many cases, violently too. However, the thing that strikes me out was that they have been protesting outside Mormon Churches, accusing them of hatred and some have called on a boycott of Utah, the headquarters for the Mormon Church. The Mormons are known to have donated large sums of money in support of the bill.

I find it despicable that gay marriage supporters have been targeting the Mormon Church with their protests. Homosexuals have always talked about tolerance and here they are showing their intolerance to other people's faiths and beliefs.

Before the vote on Prop, there were many reports of "Yes on Prop 8" posters and banners being vandalized and stolen by their counterparts. Some have been arrested and caught red handed. Some have attributed the passage of this bill to the approach the gay marriage supporters have taken in forcing their cause on the rest of the state population. Footage of the mayor of San Francisco "Gavin Newsom" wild eyed and arrogantly claiming in support of gay marriage: "this door is wide open, it's gonna happen, whether you like it or not", was used in ads to support prop 8.

Gay marriage supporters have to respect freedom of speech. People have the right to express their opinions and practice their beliefs, whether they agree or oppose it. I find it disgusting when they accuse people who don't agree with their demands of hatred and bigotry. I feel this also may come as some sort of self insecurity. I mean what is it about? They already have all equal rights and domestic partnership rights. They can also adopt children. Is it just about tax breaks? What is this about?

It is not the Mormon church that passed the bill. 52% of Californians have. Why target a specific religious group that believes homosexuality is immmoral? I mean what are they proposing? You're either with us, or you keep your mouth shut? That's called fascism. Are they proposing an amendment to the Bible? the Quran? the Torat? This is ridiculous. Before they can ask to be tolerated, they have to respect and tolerate other people's religious beliefs...

The Girl I Used to Know

2008-11-09T20:40:00.000-08:00

There was this girl i used to know. I thought we were really good friends. She was much older than I am, but i respected her much. She had been through a lot of difficulties in her life. We always kept in touch, and i really felt like she genuinely cared as much as i cared about her friendship. Our relationship was strictly platonic. I never thought of it otherwise.

Then 2 summers ago, she was taking the summer off for work and traveling out of the country. It was before my birthday. It was a busy time for her, so she promised to celebrate my birthday after she comes back from her trip. That was the last i heard from her. I was a bit disappointed that she didn't try to contact me after, so i didn't try to resume contact.

Anyway, a couple of months ago, i mentioned her to a mutual friend who i assumed didn't know her. That friend of mine claimed that she knew a person by the same name who is now married and with a child living close to our neighborhood. I thought it must be a different person.

THen one day, i was going out jogging and i saw her from distance. I was confident it was she. She was walking a carriage with a baby inside with another elderly woman with her. I knew then the rumors i heard were true. I walked by her and she walked by me too. I am pretty sure she saw me but she didn't say a word...

It's kinda sad. I never thought she would get married and not invite. I never thought she would have a baby and not let me know. I was disappointed and confused. A friend of mine suggested maybe she had a hidden crush on me. I never thought about this possibility. It seemed out of the question. Still i wonder about that. I wonder y she just erased me from her life...

Though, i have lost a good friend, but i was somehow happy for her, amidst the feelings of disappointment. She had a rough life, struggling mostly on her own. I am glad she found someone to spend her life with, that she had finally started her own family. She had gone through so much, and she deserved this new found happiness...

Still, i can't seem to find the answer. No matter how much i think i learned in life, there will always be questions i can never answer. Human beings can be so mysterious and unpredictable at times...

A New Dawn in American History

2008-11-04T22:40:00.000-08:00

Barack Hussein Obama will be the 44th president of the United States of America.
I would like to quote Martin Luther King Jr. on this historic occasion:

"Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

There is no doubt about. I guess anything is possible.
Tomorrow we wake up to a new dawn in American history. I am honored to have experienced it. There is hope for America, there is hope that Americans have overcome their racial prejudice. They truly have come a long way. I applaud them for this achievement.

It doesn't end here. It's a beginning of a new chapter. There's still much to be done, but tonight we sleep peacefully and soundly...

The 4th of November

2008-11-04T01:33:00.000-08:00

So the race comes to an end today. All will be decided on this day. History will be made. That's for sure.

We've come a long way. I can't remember following any presidential race this thoroughly in my entire life. I was never this interested. I don't know what exactly triggered the surge in interest. I know for sure that there are many factors involved.

I realize the historical importance of this event and the chance for real change. General opinion was always that no matter who wins, things will still be the same. I know that was true most of the times. I don't know if it is true today too. It could be. However, i believe that if there was ever a time of real change, this would be it.

I also realize that this is a bleak and dark time in America's economy and financial future. It has clearly affected me just as it has affected most middle class americans and the rest of the free world. A lot is at stake and the failed policies of the previous administration must be put to end. The previous administration has championed deregulation and giving tax breaks to the high income earners and wall-street firms. This can no longer be sustainable. In addition the national debt and federal deficit has skyrocketed and reached unchartered territories. Unemployment is on the rise. Everyday, companies are downsizing, more people are put to the street, kicked out of their homes. It is a tough time for everyone. It's only the beginning. People look to the next leader to guide this country back to a healthy and stable economy.

Most importantly, the rule of Bush & Cheney must come to an end. The least popular administration in American history leaves in shame. America has lost its respect and aura in the world. Its name has been tarnished. An unpopular, illegal and unjust war has hurt its standing. It is the time to end this war. Already many lives have been destroyed, a whole country wrecked in a cause based on lies and deception. The so called war on terror has fed fear into the hearts of americans. They have chosen to sacrifice their fundamental and basic human rights to feel safe. The Patriot Act has taken away, their basic rights. The government can now spy on its own people. They can search your house without court permission. It is outrageous how much power the previous administration was handed in its fight against terrorism. They still use the language of fear and hate to gain more power and try to keep it. How about torture and the Military Commissions Act which strips prisoners of war from their basic human rights? Those were some dark times, where Americans chose to violate their own principles which they claim to fight for so they could win this false war. How about the illegal firing of US Judges by Alberto Gonzales, judges who were opposed to White House philosphies? The past administration has all kinds of shameful and disgraceful scandals. I would feel sorry for the next president who is going to clean up the mess those guys left while they were in office.

No one in their right mind can accept another 4 years of the same failed policies. After a while, u just want to press the reset button and start over. This is why this time new faces, new blood are needed. What is needed is someone who can reach out to the other side, someone the little people can connect to, someone who worked his way up from nothing, someone overcoming racial barriers. We've heard stories like that. They call them the American Dream. I don't know if that American dream exists anymore. It seems to have turned into a nightmare...

Now between the 2 candidates, Obama would clearly be the best choice to lead this country. Though i wish a 3rd and 4th strong competitive candidates could have been given more support to make this a better and more productive race, to focus on wider range of issues and address some ignored issues that haven't been tackled by the 2 leading candidates.

Obama's journey is exceptional in so many ways. I never would have imagined that such a person could ever exist. His rise out of nowhere really feels like a movie. Obama seems decades ahead of his time. I feel that his international and mixed roots have added a lot to his persona and his character. His father is a black Kenyan muslim and his mother is white Christian from Kansas, and he was raised in Hawaii. I mean that alone says a lot about the guy. He has different roots from everywhere and i believe that is what makes him special and his ideas different, a true breath of fresh air. I think that not only can he reach out to Americans but also to non-Americans. I think it may be possible with him. America needs someone internationally open minded, someone who sees things from a different point of view. Look at the history of his family, his life story. It is truly amazing, how his family struggled to raise him up, his mother's death from cancer, his own personal struggles and identity issues and how he overcame them. Look at his achievements at Harvard Law univeristy, and how he chose afterwards to work for a public cause, for underprivileged people in Illinois instead of working for a Wall Street firm. I think it says a lot about him.

Now on the trail of his campaign, i think it was astonishing, how he always tried to run a clean campaign. he was mostly on the defense as his opponents were constantly attacking him, smearing him, calling him names, running negative ads, falsely accusing him of absurd things. I think throughout that, he maintained a high level of integrity and morality. There were times he could have hit back harder, but i felt he chose not to. It tells a lot about his character. He is trying to unify instead of divide. He has run a successful campaign, since the start. He also surrounded himself with the smartest people. I also believe that he was honest about his affiliation and at times when it was necessary he denounced some of them. I have to say, it's rare to see someone as clean as he is...

He has been quite an eloquent speaker. His speeches have touched many people. THough some may argue with me about this point, but i really believe that he didn't build his campaign on the fact that he was African American. Though, he is African American, but you feel he speaks out to everyone, especially the middle class people. He is also a brave leader, who's not afraid not to agree with the rest of the crowd. I know he backed down a bit during his campaign from some of his previous ideas but i feel he had to in order to get elected, i feel he really has different point of views, that are needed as a real agent of change. He was one of the few to oppose the Iraqi war, when most of the others were supporting it. I mean right away, that says a lot about him. He has no problem in talking with leaders of countries such as Iran, Cuba, Venezuela. Obviously the bullying approach, the "you're either with me or against me" approach never worked, and someone seems to realize that. I hope that he has more stances like that in his pocket if he gets elected. You got to think out of the box. You got to the think reasonably. You have to be smart in running a country. The neo-con way is a one way ticket to hell.

I also think that his policies on health care, education and taxation are far better than McCain's. THough i don't believe that Obama's are the best, but McCain's are the worse and McCain's tax breaks will bankrupt the country and that is why they either are lies or too foolish to be applied.

Most of all, Obama truly inspires people in ways no other candidate has done. People can connect with him in many ways. Now i know i personally can connect with him, being an idealist. People used to accuse him of being naive, a dreamer, but it's quite obvious that he's proved them wrong. I mean he's this close to becoming president. He held to his beliefs, high standards and ideals. It really gives you hope that even though the world is corrupt and far from perfect, you should not give up on them. You should still hope for the best and strive to make it better. It is ok to still dream of a better place, and that those dreams can still come true. That is what strikes me the most about this man. This is why I will be looking forward to hearing the announcement later tonight, proclaiming Barack Hussein Obama the 44th president of the United States. To know that someone with that name could be president of the United States is phenomenal by itself. I never though i could live to see this day.

This is a historical moment in America's short timeline, from slavery to the Civil War and then the Civil Rights Movement. Now this could be the day when the first African American president is elected. Wow, they've come a long way. There are no excuses anymore. It is possible. It can be done.

Now I can't see into the future if Obama wins. It highly may not be what we all expect but for now, i know it will be a sigh of relief to have 8 years of fear and deceipt end with a message of hope and change. I'll take the latter choice any given day...

Alone with my Thoughts

2008-11-01T23:30:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling down lately. I was previously occupied with work. I was too busy to think of anything else. I was even working at home, so i really didn't have time to think of anything else. I guess that's how u survive here. U keep urself busy with work to notice anything else. So things have slowed down. I don't know y after my Vegas trip, i have been feeling so depressed. I hate so many things around me and i can't do much to change it.

I really wish i can just wipe the slate clean. U know i wish i can just clear out my phone contacts, forget every person i met here, change my job, move out of where i live. I wish i can start over again. Everyday, what keeps me going, is not the chance that my current situation will improve, but the hope that i can start over again, somewhere else, somewhere better. I feel so stuck. I feel helpless, a prisoner of my own life, held against my will.

I feel so scarred, mentally and psychologically. They messed me up. They messed up pretty badly. It will take years for me to recover, even if i change my current status. There is almost no one i can trust. There r people i trust, but i know they won't really understand my situation, so i try to keep to myself. All this pain bottled up, no where to go. It's quite sad. Most of the times, i just don't wanna talk to anybody. I wanna stay away from it all. I look at all these people around me. They all seem the same, different from outside, same from the inside. It's amazing how most people r so similar. They all think the same. They all feel the same. They may express differently, but they're all fundamentally the same. Maybe i'm stuck in the worst place, where people happen to be like that. It can't be that people r all like that. That is the only reasoning i can come up with...

Deep inside i feel weak, about to break. I try hard to keep it together. Breaking down, would make things worse than they already are. I try to hang in there, a bit longer, even though i am running out of time. I have no other choice...

TORTURE IS WRONG

2008-10-31T16:16:00.000-07:00

I watched a great documentary 2 days ago. It's called "Taxi to the Dark Side". It's about the horrible use of torture by US army to prisoners in Afghanistan and Iraq. It's a great documentary. It won an academy award in 2007. I highly recommend it.

There are even unseen images from Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq and detailed description of torture used in Bagram prison in Afghaniston. They will shock you.

When the photos from Abu Ghraib prison were leaked, the administration scape goated the soldiers responsible who were following orders and improperly trained instead of punishing the higher ranked officials who allowed them to do that, the ones who didn't even give them a standard way of conduct based on Geneva convention. Use of torture was not a exceptional incident, it was encouraged from the head of the pyramid, starting by the lords of war and torture Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfield and John Yoo. I find it disturbing that Bill Clinton was almost impeached for lying under oath about having a sexual relation, whereas the Bush and Cheney administration were conducting torture wich lead to numerous amounts of innocent deaths and violating human rights and allowed to do that without being held accountable.

THe documentary claims that out of the numerous amount of prisoners being held. less than 5% are terrorist. Judging by the way those prisoners were treated, I doubt that by the time they get out, they'll hate Americans, and no one can blame them, when they are tortured, humiliated and stripped of their basic rights. This is outrageous.

Many claim that the use of sleep deprivation, waterboarding, psychological torture, humiliation doesn't constitute torture. I find that despicable. When you hear some of the stories of how prisoners were treated, it makes you wonder if the perpetrators of torture are really different than the terrorists themselves.

How can you fight in the name of a principle when you are violating its very core? The moment u do that, u fight for a lost cause. You lose the higher ground. You're clearly a hypocrite. I strongly believe that even in the worst situation, when you have nothing more to lose, you are still not justified in breaking ur fundamental principles, moral principles your cause was built on.

It is shameful that many americans condone torture. I find it very disturbing. As the movie claims, this has been popularized in hollywood movies where the rogue hero would be torturing the bad guy so he would reveal his secrets, or in some cases when there is a hidden bomb about to go off somewhere. People fail to realize that this is fiction, that in real life, these situations would never happen. I guess it's part of the desensitized culture trend we are experiencing in the modern world.

Every human being has his basic legal rights, no matter how low he can get, no matter what he is claimed to have done. We are all equal. Iraqis and Afghanis are no less than Americans. They are not animals. They should be treated the same, in good and bad times. There is nothing more important than the sanctity and dignity of life, the human body and soul. When you fight, you fight to protect that and not to destroy it.

Wow, is this American justice? is this American democracy? THe image of America has been significantly tarnished and it's gonna take a very long time before the rest of the world can forget and forgive.

This movie is a must see. I find it reassuring that there are still people out there who know right from wrong and who are willing and not afraid to show the truth and fight for it. I think every person must see this movie. It is a sad movie, but it will open our eyes to reality, a reality about a sick society...

Simply put: TORTURE IS WRONG. Stop this, stop it now...

Warning: The video below contains graphic images.

Some Kind of Stranger

2008-10-27T21:00:00.000-07:00

Sisters of Mercy was probably the first band I fell for. The first CD I ever bought was a Sisters of Mercy one. They were impossible to find back then, so I had to go to the dealer who buys gothic CDs. As I recall he sold me the CD for $20, quite expensive at the time, but worth every penny. The CD was their best of "A Slight Case of Overbombing". I have now all of their "official" studio CDs. It was like finding my own religion back then, in my teenage days. I was probably the only person who knew about them among my peers or listened to them. I was never into commercial music. I never listened to what all the others listened to. I am not a sheep, as i always say, i'm more of a lone wolf.

I have all their CDs:

A Slight Case of Overbombing
Vision Thing
Floodland
First and Last and Always
Some Girls Wander By Mistake

The gothic dark style of the sisters of mercy was a perfect match to my life back then. It really completed me. The music still reaches deep into me, like no other music. Sisters of Mercy are the fathers of true gothic rock (not the other crap that came out in the nineties and after). The vocals of Andrew Eldritch defined the sound of this genre. They started in the early 80s and ended in the early 90s. I found out about them from my older brother (greatest influence back in the days) who found out about them from the Modern Rock show on my favourite radio station back then. I owe everything to them. They taught me a lot about good music. They had the show as i recall every 8PM on Wednesday. However in those days gothic rock was in decline. My interest was revived when they were compiling several "best of"'s on that show. They were doing best 20 years modern rock and best millennium Modern Rock for the year 2000. Sisters of Mercy topped the chart as the best modern rock/gothic band every time.

They were like heroes to me in those days, my own rock star heroes. My teenage days and early adulthood would be incomplete without one. I remember listening to them in my room, playing those CDs on and on. They were really priceless memories. They gave some meaning to my life at a time I need one.

Like all great bands, they eventually disbanded and stopped releasing albums. Actually, the time i discovered them, they were already disbanded. They were like legends to me, rock'n roll icons. That didn't stop me or make me lose interest, even though i knew I'd never see them in concert or expect them to release any new album. I guess that added more to their myth. U know just as u believe in Jesus Christ even though u've never seen Him. I believed in this band, just by listening to them. That was enough for me to know how great they r.

Anyway, i thought i had heard all their songs but I came across this early version of their probably most famous track "Some Kind of Stranger". I have to say it is amazing. It blew me away when i listened to it yesterday. I felt like i was 16 again. I have also added the classic officially known version of this song too. However I have to stress on the early version. I like that the end chorus seems to last forever and the weeping electronic sound while he's singing. It's out of this world. I can listen to him over and over and every time he says it, it feels like he hasn't said it enough, even for the hundredth time.

Needless to say when they played the top gothic hits, this song was selected as the best gothic song ever for the Sisters of Mercy and for the gothic genre as a whole.

It is so beautiful, hypnotizing, mesmerizing, magnificent beyond words, a true masterpiece of epic proportions...

"Come here I think you're beautiful
I think you're beautiful
Some kind of angel come inside

Come here I think you're beautiful
My door is open wide
Some kind of stranger come inside"

Some Kind Of Stranger - The Sisters Of Mercy(early version)

From England in the morning
I haven´t slept for days
I haven´t kept the promise made
And I know the world is cold
But that if you hold on tight to what you find
You might not mind too much
Though even this must pass away
And memories may last for years
But names are just for souvenirs
Let me look into your eyes
And I don´t care what you´re called
Tell me later if at all
I can wait a long, long time before I hear another lovesong
Don't give me whys and wherefores
Reason for surprise
I don't care for words that don't belong

Come here
I think you´re beautiful
My door is open wide
Some kind of stranger come inside
I think you´re beautiful
I think you´re beautiful
I think you´re beautiful
Angel come inside
I think you´re beautiful

Some Kind Of Stranger - The Sisters Of Mercy(Official Version)

And yes I believe in what we had
But words got in the way
And only yesterday
As I was leaving
Lord knows I've tried to say but I've
Heard a million conversations
Going where they've been before
Seen the way that careful lingers
Undecided at the door

CHORUS
And all I know for sure
All I know for real
Is knowing doesn't mean so much
When placed against the feeling
The heat inside
When bodies meet
When fingers touch

All of my words are secondhand and
Useless in the face of this
Rationale and rhyme and reason
Pale beside a single kiss
And I've heard so many things I
Fail to understand at all
I'd settle anytime for
Unknown footsteps in the hall outside

CHORUS

Because the world is cruel and
Promises are broken
Don't try to tell me
Anything don't try to tell me
You'll be true to me you know the
Real truth is never spoken
And I know the world is cold but
If you hold on tight to what you
Find you might not mind too much though
Even this must pass away and
Memories may last for years but
Names are just for souvenirs
Some kind of angel let me
Look into your eyes
Don't give me whys and wherefores
Reason or surprise
I don't care for words that don't belong
And I don't care what you're called
Tell me later if at all
I can wait a long long time
Before I hear another love song

Come here I think you're beautiful
My door is open wide
Some kind of angel come inside

Come here I think you're beautiful
I think you're beautiful beautiful
Some kind of angel come inside

Come here I think you're beautiful
I think you're beautiful
Some kind of angel come inside

Come here I think you're beautiful
My door is open wide
Some kind of stranger come inside

Come here I think you're beautiful
I think you're beautiful beautiful
Some kind of stranger come inside

Come here I think you're beautiful
I think you're beautiful
Some kind of stranger come inside

[repeat last three verses to fade]

Gay Marriage

2008-10-25T22:24:00.000-07:00

This is a very serious topic. It's been creating a big buzz over here in California, especially with this Prop 8 vote on November 4. It's dividing people everywhere between support and opposition.

First of all, i have to say that it's unfair that anyone who opposes gay marriage should be labeled a bigot. People can't speak up their opinion anymore without being insulted or discriminated against. Can't we have a mature discussion like adults? Can't we be honest about our feelings and thoughts? Do we have to be called names and categorized? Even if someone is conservative or traditional, doesn't automatically make him wrong.

Anyway, here's my opinion. I believe marriage is the natural union between a man and a woman. I do believe everyone should be equal and if gays want equal right, civil union would be a logical and fair solution.

Now when people propose gay marriage it's like redefining the meaning of marriage. The concept of gay marriage never existed in history until the last century. Even the cultures engaged in open homosexuality such as the Ancient Greeks didn't think about it. The idea of a long term relationship with someone else of the same sex must not have made sense to them. They knew in the end, they needed a member of the opposite sex. To build a family they needed a partner of the opposite sex. Homosexuality has always been there since the beginning of man. Yet, no one ever thought of the concept of gay marriage until now. Y change something that was never an issue in the start? Y bend the laws of nature? Even the homosexuals themselves are the product of a natural union between man and woman.

I believe that nature creates the laws. It's a belief based on rational thinking and reason. If we were to redefine marriage to include 2 members of the same sex, "the unnatural" way, then would it be fair to stop here? Then what about the other unnatural human relations? How about polygamy? Y is it unfair for a man to marry more than one woman, or a woman to marry more than one man if they all "love" each other? I mean that would be unfair based on the gay proponents logic. How about bi-sexuals? Can't they marry someone of their own sex and another of their opposite sex? I mean this is an open ended discussions. If it is about equal rights to everybody and the feeling of love than anything is possible. U can marry anyone or anything...

This is a sensitive topic. Not many people can talk about it openly. It can be a taboo to many. Now i don't c the wisdom in changing the structure of family, the foundation of life, the way nature has engineered us since the beginning. It doesn't make sense to me, y man has the right to choose how nature works. It's not that man can change that, not that he can. Man may say that gay marriage is a right, but nature has already triumphed over this argument, whether we like it or not. We can't beat nature, we will all grow old, we will all die. There's no stopping that. Man has to understand that some things can't be changed.

Now i know that this is not my country and i have no say in it. In my part of the world, the idea of gay marriage would be absurd. It's like a fish wanting to fly. It's like jumping from a building and thinking we can fly. I believe in individual rights, equal rights among everybody, but this is not about rights. This is an illusion. It's not even there. It's in our minds. We're creating it. No one should be discriminated against based on their sexual orientation, but redefining the laws of nature to suit my own sexual orientation and imposing it on the rest of the world is illogical and outrageous...

Vegas Aftermath

2008-10-25T22:13:00.001-07:00

Don't worry people. I didn't lose all my money. The Vegas trip was great. My sis-in-law's b-day was great. However at the end of the trip, things went bad. I broke my eyeglasses, lost my bluetooth earphone, and cracked my credit card. Then the day of my flight back, my flight got cancelled and i had to wait 3 hours for the next flight back to LA and even that flight was delayed half and hour :(

Damn, i hate how bad things happen all at once. However my sis-in-law told me once it's better to have bad things happen to u once in a while, instead of a big tragedy at once.

Anyway, i'm still trying to fix the damage of that trip. It's a working process. I still have no idea how i forgot my blue-tooth in the hotel. I never lose any personal belonging. I also have no idea how i cracked my credit card. I mean it's hard to crack them. It was in my wallet which is too think to bend. I don't know. What worse is i broke my eye-glasses. THis is the first time i get an eye exam and buy new eyeglasses here in US. This sux. Lenses here r frickin' overpriced. Plus it takes them 10 days to get them ready. I mean r they like waiting for them to be shipped from China or something? Well if that's the case then i'm gonna be really upset coz they charged me a fortune for a pair of plastics which is gonna be made for cheap. Americans can't manufacture anything anymore...

Anyway i am not satisfied with my new eyeglasses but what can i do, i need them, though i can c without them but i got used to them. I feel they're part of me. So for now, i'll just wait till they arrive by the end of next week...

Wow, i guess i'm one of the unlucky people when it comes to traveling...

Vegas! Baby!

2008-10-17T23:34:00.000-07:00

So here i am again about to embark on another weekend in Las Vegas. The last time was a blast. Hanging out with family turned out great. This time my younger brother will be there too. This is his first time too. He'll get to enjoy it with his 2 other brothers. I bet it'll be great. I am looking forward to it.

I have been working a lot lately. I will continue to do so. There is much to be done, and a great obstacle to overcome. I am hoping after this trip, i'll get energized and motivated to fight on...

Until then, as they say, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas :)

So for now, i'll get to relive my first Vegas experience with my younger brother. I'll get to revisit my first time in the world's entertainment capital, the adult Disneyland. I am sure it'll be worth remembering for a long time to come.

Vegas, here i come!

More on loneliness

2008-10-13T15:28:00.001-07:00

It's no secret that i am quite lonely. At one point i tried to do something about it, but then i just gave up. I was disappointed with the company out there. Let's face it, i live in the US, and nobody cares about anybody here. Everybody only cares about "number one", one's self. Everybody puts a wall around them from the world they live in. It feels like everybody's in their own world.

I sometimes force myself not to try, not to try to get close to strangers. Well to put it in another way. I don't feel any connection with those people. I know we're different and most likely incompatible, but my need for company and intimacy would force me to try to break the barrier, but deep down i know it's a moment of desperation and need. I try to suppress it. After all, it will get me nowhere. It will do me no good.

It's like we're all travelers from different planets who got stranded in the same place. we're not even the same species. Americans pride themselves as being the melting pot of different cultures. I have never felt that. Maybe in some parts of the country its true. However, in most parts, it's a salad bowl. THe tomatos, lettuce, corn and all the other vegetables will always be separated. We're just mixed in the same bowl but never really joined.

I ask myself maybe i am picky. Well, i know i am picky. I am an idealist. I can't be any less. It's who i am. I either have it the right way, or i don't have it at all. That is how i do things. I think in these matters, one has to have it this way. It's especially true with me. I can't fake love, friendship, faith or loyalty. I can't force these on myself.

What i'm looking for is hard to find. I happen to be in a difficult place too. I am surrounded by many people, but i really feel all by myself, even when i am standing in the middle of the crowd. It's like i said, in my mind, i'm in some other world. I speak my own language. I have my own values and beliefs. I have my own objective in life. However, i am physically stranded in this strange unfriendly world...

Some thoughts

2008-10-13T15:06:00.001-07:00

Last week was a tough week. The stock market was crashing. It reported it's biggest loss in a single. There was a lot of pessimism all around. I was starting to worry about this. I mean at the rate money was being lost, i was worried i would eventually lose my job.

There is definitely a lot of uncertainty in the future to come. Every time i plan my next move. It's actually the same plan i keep postponing, i hit a brick wall. I mean, i'm all about when the going gets tough, the tough gets tougher, but this is ridiculous. I mean i am starting to lose faith in universal justice and fairness. I acknowledge that i am lucky in some ways, especially in my health and the fact i still ahve a job and the chance to better myself, but i deserve better. I honestly do. Anyone, who has seen my work and what i'm capable of doing could c that, there is more for me out there.

I keep hoping that even though things may seem depressing and the odds unbeatable, that the long awaited victory will eventually come and the sense of accomplishment and justice would be greater than anything i have ever felt before. Sometimes i feel time is running out. It truly depresses me and puts me down. I honestly don't have much time left. I have to act fast, even though the current time is one of the hardest and toughest times to come.

The next 2 months, i'll give it my best. I know i'm greater than this. As long as i still believe in that, i know there is something to keep me going...

Decisions during Tough Times

2008-10-08T16:10:00.001-07:00

The days of easy credit are over. You can't borrow ur way out of messes from now on. You can't take out loans to live a luxury life beyond ur means anymore. You can't buy more than u need or more than u can afford from now on.

Easy credit has been a disease for american society. Once u get addicted to it, u can't let go of it. TOugh times demand sacrifices. People will have to give up the easy life and cut expenses to survive this crisis.

TO illustrate my point, i am gonna pick an imaginary scenario of a successful guy. Let's say you have this guy who works in a huge financial corporation. He was renting out this big apartment in Manhattan paying $5000 a month. he was driving a sports car which cost $50,000. He's living the good life. He buys whatever he craves, flies first class, goes to vip parties and fancy restaurants, golf country club, weekends in Vegas, etc. THen during the financial crisis, his company goes bankrupt and he loses his job. Now someone like this guy is not gonna be willing to give up his good life. So he keeps his car, his apartment and all the goodies of his employment days. Instead he starts borrowing money, living on his credit cards and whatever savings he has or whatever is left of his investments.

I think this is the problem with many american people. People r drunk on easy credit. Such decisions will only make things worse in the long run especially if the current crisis lasts longer. What the guy above should have done was to move out to a cheaper apartment, sell his car and buy a cheaper one, give up the traveling and the wasteful lifestyle. In other words he should downsize. He should cut costs. Most american lifestyles r unsustainable. THey look only for short term solutions and ignore the long term disastrous consequences.

I think maybe from now on, people will wake up and realize they're in a deep trench. They will realize the reality of the situation. THey have to change their way of life. People think it's scary that they can't continue with their lives like they were doing yesterday. THey r worried that they can't live like that anymore. However, the problem started off becoz they were living a life beyond their means. They should have never done that in the first place. The only way they can survive now is through sacrifice, to wake up from their american dream, before it turns into a nightmare...

Making the right choice

2008-10-04T15:17:00.000-07:00

Making the right show is not always the favorable thing to do.It demands sacrifice, wisdom and courage. They recently approved the financial bailout plan, after adding sweeteners to it. It feels like a joke, how in a week everyone changed their minds about it and accepted, even though, it's still the same at its core. Well what can u say, that's how politicians are. Everyday they have a different opinion...

Anyway, maybe in a couple of years this plan may work out, but does it mean approving was the right thing to do? It's like this. Imagine being in a financial crisis and you owe a lot of money and loans to pay out. You are about to lose your house and car. So let's say you decide to go to the casino and gamble what you have left of your money. Well, that would be the dumbest choice ever, and if you asked me, i would tell u not to do it. However let's say u did and u ended up winning the jackpot and all ur financial problems are solved. Then you may wonder if u did the right thing. I would say no. You simply got lucky. U undoubtedly took the wrong choice but u got lucky.

I believe that even if u got lucky and u solved a problem by taking the wrong choice doesn't mean u were right in taking it. In the above scenario, the outcome could have been a disaster. U could have lost everything. U won't always get lucky. That is y taking the right and reasonable choice is always the way to go. Even if it fails, u know u did what u could do, u played it by the book. U didn't roll the dice. U thought and planned before u acted. That's the way to go. In the long run, reason always works...

Useless List of Contacts

2008-10-02T14:25:00.000-07:00

Last night, my car broke down. It was in bad place and bad time. Well, that's how it usually is. I didn't know what to do exactly. I thought i could call a friend of mine for reliable wise advice. In the end, i figured it out somehow. I got myself out of this mess with some good luck too.

Well i could have used all the help i could get. U know sometimes, when u're in a mess, u realize that there r few people u can really count on. In the end, u have to rely on urself. It's sad but that's reality here.

U know sometime when u're in a difficult situation, u ask urself, who should i call? U then realize who u're true friends r. U go over ur phone list and u realize that there r very few people u can call for help. It makes me wonder y i still keep this long list. I should probably delete more than half of it. However i wonder, perhaps i have very few friends in LA. I discovered how true this is when i was trying frantically to figure who to call...

Most people u might know r just bunch of acquaintances, people u can have fun with, chat when u bump into. Some u meet in life and after some time, the only thing that's left of them is a phone number in your phone contact list. THat's it, they're not going to be there when you really need them...

Bad Day in the Market

2008-09-29T15:49:00.001-07:00

The Dow Jones Industrial Average fell 777 points today, around 7% after the financial bailout plan was rejected by Congress. It was a painful day, one not to be forgotten in a long time to come.

I don't know where we're going from here, but here's a couple of things that may happen as a result:

Maybe since there's less credit now, we will have deflation and dollar will go up.
Maybe the executive who gets paid 100k end of year bonus at Goldman Sachs will get 5k bonus instead.
Maybe next time a financial company hires a ceo they will not give him $13million as severence and bonus package.
Maybe they will not try to fool the house buyer into taking adjustable morgage rates that start low and in 2 3 years skyrocket in interest rate.
Maybe home buyers who can't afford to buy homes will learn their lessons and only buy what they can afford from now on.
Maybe next time a bank gives a loan to someone to buy a house, they will make sure he has a job and he can pay for it.
Maybe next time somebody wants to buy a house, they will realize they don't need to buy a 5 bedroom a house and buy a 2 bedroom one instead.
Maybe home builders will slow down reckless house construction and try not to exceed market demand.
Maybe next time financial companies decide to invest in risky loans hoping to make a quick buck, they will learn that the taxpayer will not bail them out eventually.

Maybe everybody will learn something called reponsibility, responsibility for one's action. Everybody needs to learn that eventually. It will save us a world of pain in the future.

No to Paulson's Financial Bailout Plan

2008-09-23T21:21:00.000-07:00

I have been discussing finance a lot lately on my website. It's not my style but this topic has caught my interest and i believe the implications are critical and may have long term negative consequences.

So i was listening to US Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson and Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke discuss their financial bailout plan in front of the senate committee. The more i was hearing of this plan, the more i feel it's flawed and the more i hate it.

The plan seems to favor the Wall Street companies in distress and only those companies. It basically does nothing to the taxpayer or the bankrupt homeowners with foreclosure risks. It even gives Henry Paulson, who by the way is an ex-CEO of Goldman Sachs unprecedented powers and doesn't allow any review or assessment by a third party of the way he conducts the plan after it is approved. Bernanke is also pushing for buying the toxic assets at maturity price instead of market price. In otherwords, he wants to buy the assets at high prices so the taxpayer gets screwed and gets nothing in return whereas the financial companies get the most out of it.

At one point, a senator suggested dividing the bailout into chunks, where instead of $700 billion, they would give it in chunks of $150 billion at a time and after each time, they would assess if the plan was working. This was rejected by the Paulson who explained that this would not create the positive confidence factor they were aiming. They describe it as the bazooka effect. Having a bazooka instead of a squirt gun will deter the need to use it?

Bazooka Hank
"If you have a squirt gun in your pocket you may have to take it out. If you've got a bazooka, and people know you've got it, you may not have to take it out," Paulson said. (Translation: if the market knew the companies had a federal backstop, investors would be more likely to give them more time to work out their troubles.)"

Both Bernanke and Paulson were requesting the plan be approved as soon as possible, as the need is dire or else a complete halt of the US economy would be inevitable. It's strange coming from the guys who 2 weeks ago after bailing out Freddie Mac and Fannie May claimed the crisis was contained. Now they are warning against armegeddon and the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression.

Let us not forget the fact that the plan didn't guarantee that executives in those companies would not receive outrageously high severance packages. It also didn't deal much with the need for regulations and restrictions which the lack of created this whole mess in the first place.

They wouldn't even agree on the taxpayers receiving a stake in those troubled companies. I mean at least the AIG bailout handed 80% control of the company to the government and an 11% interest rate for the loan. Instead Paulson wants the plan to be approved with no pre-conditions. He's asking for a blank check.

Also how could u possibly price those illiquid assets? They're called illiquid for a reason. No one knows what they're worth, exactly. U could price them high so the companies benefit and the taxholder gets screwed? or u could price them low so taxpayer benefits but the companies gain nothing out of it. The whole plan is flawed.

In the end, if it is approved, one thing for sure, it's gonna take the national debt into unchartered territory, and will devalue the already strained dollar. Print more money and devalue the dollar. The only solution in the fed's strategy book. Price fixation never works. It will take generations of americans to repay this debt...

I am no economist, but history has always shown that the market always wins. Let the market fix itself by itself. This is capitalism, it's the survival of the fittest. U either fail or u evolve. If u fail, u r expected to go extinct... U go the way of the dodo and Lehman Brothers...

In the Year 2525

2008-09-21T18:34:00.000-07:00

This is an interesting somehow apocalyptic song by one hit wonders Zager and Evans about the future of mankind. It deals with the advances in technology and its effect on man, such as machines taking over, engineered artificial birth, pharmaceuticals and addiction on pills, words and thoughts will be preprogrammed into a daily pill, the depletion of earth's resources...

The overall theme is that the world is doomed by its passive acquiescence to and extreme dependence on its man's overdone technologies.

It's a bit depressing, but it's quite impressive that a song written in 1969 would deal with such topics that were still new at that time, but are quite true when we think about them in modern times...

In the Year 2525(Zager & Evans)

In the year 2525
If man is still alive
If woman can survive
They may find

In the year 3535
Ain't gonna need to tell the truth, tell no lies
Everything you think, do, or say
Is in the pill you took today

In the year 4545
Ain't gonna need your teeth, won't need your eyes
You won't find a thing to do
Nobody's gonna look at you

In the year 5555
Your arms are hanging limp at your sides
Your legs not nothing to do
Some machine is doing that for you

In the year 6565
Ain't gonna need no husband, won't need no wife
You'll pick your son, pick your daughter too
From the bottom of a long black tube

In the year 7510
If God's a-comin' he ought to make it by then
Maybe he'll look around himself and say
Guess it's time for the Judgement day

In the year 8510
God's gonna shake his mighty head
He'll either say I'm pleased where man has been
Or tear it down and start again

In the year 9595
I'm kinda wondering if man's gonna be alive
He's taken everything this old earth can give
And he ain't put back nothing

Now it's been 10,000 years
Man has cried a billion tears
For what he never knew
Now man's reign is through
But through the eternal night
The twinkling of starlight
So very far away
Maybe it's only yesterday

In the year 2525
If man is still alive
If woman can survive
They may find

In the year 3535
Ain't gonna need to tell the truth, tell no lies
Everything you think, do or say
Is in the pill you took today ....(fading)

US Government to Bailout Financial System

2008-09-20T22:51:00.000-07:00

It seems the US government is gonna buy out all the bad assets from the financial companies who r up to their noses with bad loans. This will be the biggest bailout ever in history and may cost up to a trillion dollars, strangely enough coming from a country that believes in free market. The financial companies which basically dug their own graves with their own hands becoz of their greed and incompetency, are now getting rewarded for their foolish risky investments.

To illustrate my point, imagine a college student who takes out a college loan and instead goes and buys a sports car and spends the money traveling and partying, instead of going to school. Then instead of him taking responsibility for his actions, and paying back his loans, his parents would come in and tell him that they will pay back all his loans and he can just go on with his extravagant spoiled life. However, in the real situation, the government is gonna bail out the financial companies at the expense of the taxpayer, which is even worse.

It's like someone having a bad day at the casino, someone who lost all his money gambling and then goes to the US government asking for a bail out.

I can't believe that these financial companies are getting rewarded and the executives getting to keep their million dollar apartments in New York and their sports cars, their 100k end of year bonuses when they should be out on the streets for their stupid greedy actions. This doesn't make sense at all. Economists explain that this bail out is necessary to avoid the collapse of the financial system which may lead the country back into a depression era. SO then in trying to save the economy, they are rewarding the people who started this problem in the first place...

I can't believe that this kind of interference and manipulation could ever be possible in a country like the US. Many foreign countries invest in this country becoz it is the closest to a free market. I don't know if this is true anymore. The repercussions of these actions may be disastrous in the future. With the rising national debt, this will mean higher taxes which may cripple the government and the people too. No one knows where this country is heading with this fiscal policy and irresponsible spending. Instead of long term solutions, they just go for short term ones, trying to postpone the inevitable judgment day, which will eventually come...

Well, so much for free market, so much for justice, so much for fairness...

In the Ghetto

2008-09-19T12:59:00.000-07:00

A man was murdered in our street the past day. It was quite tragic. I was listening to Elvis Presley's song "In the Ghetto". It made me think about society.

Poverty and hunger can drive people into desperation. Crimes rise in bad times, when money is low and unemployment is high. I think this is a great song that describes it, the vicious cycle of poverty and desperation that keeps going, it builds up to anger and hatred and ends up in some tragic death, as long as there is no helping hand, nothing to break this cycle. The cause is known, and so is the solution but no one cares to intervene. People are either too blind to see or will simply turn their heads and look the other way...

In the Ghetto

As the snow flies
On a cold and gray Chicago mornin'
A poor little baby child is born
In the ghetto
And his mama cries
'cause if there's one thing that she don't need
it's another hungry mouth to feed
In the ghetto

People, don't you understand
the child needs a helping hand
or he'll grow to be an angry young man some day
Take a look at you and me,
are we too blind to see,
do we simply turn our heads
and look the other way

Well the world turns
and a hungry little boy with a runny nose
plays in the street as the cold wind blows
In the ghetto

And his hunger burns
so he starts to roam the streets at night
and he learns how to steal
and he learns how to fight
In the ghetto

Then one night in desperation
a young man breaks away
He buys a gun, steals a car,
tries to run, but he don't get far
And his mama cries

As a crowd gathers 'round an angry young man
face down on the street with a gun in his hand
In the ghetto

As her young man dies,
on a cold and gray Chicago mornin',
another little baby child is born
In the ghetto

RIP Richard Wright

2008-09-17T22:33:00.000-07:00

Richard Wright, the keyboardest and one of the founding members of Pink Floyd passed away last night. He will definitely be remembered. Pink Floyd has been one of my first favourite bands as a teenager. I came into music because of them. My world would not have been the same without this highly influential band. At a time of emptiness and loss in my life, this band gave me meaning and some sense of purpose. I owe so much to them. It all became possible when i discovered my older brother's video "The Wall" movie by Alan Parker. I immediately went out and bought the double cassette album. THe music sounded so familiar, since i had listened to it without realizing back when my brother was still in Lebanon with us and i was still a kid growing up. I had grown up on it and my mind and senses had adapted to it. It was as if i was shaped and molded by it, the way i think and feel. It was like an epiphany. I had discovered my love for rock and non-commercial music. I started formulating my philosophy and my adult identity.

Everytime i look back, i know it was meant to be. I am glad i discovered this band back then. The band had already broken up a long time ago, though they had some reunion performances every now and then. Now one fourth of this band is gone, but the legend goes on...

I dedicate this song to Mr. Wright. How i wish u were here...
RIP Richard Wright, u'll always live on in one of the greatest bands ever, a member of an immortal music icon...

Wish You Were Here

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have you found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here.

Painful Days

2008-09-15T20:43:00.000-07:00

It seems my old back pains have returned. I am not sure why. I know i haven't been exercising my back regularly, but i really haven't been straining it. Back pains are horrible. I can't do anything now. I just sit on my chair most of the time. I feel paralyzed. It annoys me that i have to stop working out and jogging until I feel better. This is not the time for it. The coming months are crucial for my plans. I have no time to spare.

U know sometimes, when u feel there's a lot of worries and stress in ur life, ur tend to forgot to appreciate that u r still healthy and in good shape. I've said it over and over before, and i'll say it again. The most important thing is one's health. U can't do anything without it.

I'll try to take care of myself the coming days. However, i have to continue with my plans. I can't lose focus. So far, things are going smoothly. I'll have to persevere through the pain, hoping with some rest and back exercises, it'll get well soon. I have to tell myself that the greater the challenge, the sweeter the taste of success...

People Change...

2008-09-09T19:45:00.000-07:00

It's no surprise that everything changes around us. U learn that as u grow older, as u watch things changing all around u. U change with them too. People r constantly changing. Great friendships of yesterday will get diluted and become mere acquaintances tomorrow. Lovers of yesterday, strangers of tomorrow... Priorities change, commitments fade, loyalties diminish...

I can't help but wonder how true this phenomenon is every time i look back at my old friendships and the people i used to know. I suppose as u move on, u can't linger too much on the past, u have to recycle friendships as well. U have to look for new friends to replace the old. Just as when a flame dies out, or a well dries out, u move on and look for brighter flames and new springs.

I believe this is the reality of life. Though i may seem to be accepting of this reality, i really am not, but this is a 2 sided process. I can only control my side and not the other side. I know I still maintain my faith in friendship and i still respect and cherish the old memories, but I can't control other people's. I can't wait for them and there's no point in blaming them. I choose to move on...

My recent plan...

2008-09-08T00:18:00.000-07:00

I've been stressing a lot lately. I have this plan in my hand. I'm really hoping it works out. U know sometimes when u try successively to succeed at something and u keep failing, u change ur approach. U try perhaps to change ur whole strategy, ur style and even ur content. U turn this whole challenge into a science. It's no longer something u do on the side. Everything becomes aimed towards it. Everything else is just a distraction, a annoyance. Maybe i'm obsessing about this whole thing, but i've wasted enough time already. I'm really in a very embarrassing situation, not to be envied at all.

I know sometimes people succeed at accomplishing something without really trying hard, or out of luck. Generally when someone gets something in that way, it wouldn't mean as much to him. However, if u plan something out, if u try hard and work ur way towards it and if u eventually get it, it would mean so much. I know it would mean a lot, especially in my situation. U would genuinely claim that u did it, u accomplished ur goal and no one could deny or question it. U can't always succeed at everything. There's always a missing skill, or missing knowledge which u lack. U can accept that and move on, but u can also better urself and compensate for the missing knowledge and skills by learning them even if it means u have to do it on ur own. Now that's something.

So now, i'm gonna go with the plan. We'll c how it goes. For now, i work in the background, in the shadows out of the spotlight. Then when the right time comes, when they least expect it, when i'm ready, i'll pounce on my prey and i'll nail it.

Tired of spoiled kids

2008-09-02T16:56:00.001-07:00

Lately, i've been fed up with college kids. I live in a student area, in a house full of students. This is not a new feeling. I first developed this feeling when i graduated from university and started working. However now, it's becoming unbearable. I'm not sure if it's a fair thing for me to generalize or stereotype the average american college student. I know how it feels like to be a student. I was one for a considerable amount of time and i haven't forgotten my experience as one. Perhaps it's a culture thing but then again i'm not sure. Most of the American college students in my area are spoiled kids. It's a sad reality now that education had become a privilage for rich families. And they used to call it, the pursuit for higher education. Many students now lack respect for their elders, they disrepect work, care only for immature silly needs and concerns, take things for granted, devote themselves for mindless and meaningless partying, debauchery and self degradation. I can't believe there was actually a time when being a student meant something more, when change and progress actually started from campus grounds...

ANyway, i don't want to open a debate on this huge topic. I feel i can connect better with real independent working people with real life problems, people who pay their own bills. I don't want to generalize my perception. That would be a naive mistake on my part. I still occasionally meet many mature and remarkable students who know how the real world operates but i still regard the typical students, at least where i live, to fit the above stereotype.

I can't wait to the day i move out...

Still Holding On

2008-09-02T16:33:00.001-07:00

It really gets tougher and harder as time goes by to hold on all by myself. I find it harder to resist the constant ruthless and relentless attacks aimed at shattering my values and beliefs. It's hard to hold ground when no one has ur back. I'm like a tree holding on to its roots, fighting for its life in the face of a hurricane and raging floods trying to pull me out of my roots and sweep me away. Like a tree, i fear i could wither and die without the support of the earth, my nutrient provider, my support and my identity. I don't want to lose grip on my roots. I defended them for too long to let them go. Without them, i'm just like a leaf in the wind, easily blown with the slightest breeze, weak, aimless and unable to control my own fate.

Mission Accomplished?

2008-08-27T15:26:00.001-07:00

Well I came back last night from Michigan. I would label my trip as a success. The main goal was to make my brother's transition and moving in as smooth as possible. I believe we were successful at accomplishing that. I also believe that luck was on my side too. There were some setbacks here and there but somehow they were solved along the way. There were some reckless mistakes but I chose not to let them go. I resisted and fought back. It was not an easy ride; that's for sure, but i never complained. I wasn't expecting it to be easy. In fact I wanted it to be hard so that later on after I was gone, the hard part would be over for my brother. That's what it was all about, to make his life easier and share the difficulties with him. Apart from that, I enjoyed embarking on this rare adventure with my younger brother. I know we'll always remember those 4 days. I am so happy and proud I got to be there to help out. I tried my best. I tried to be prepared. I wanted it to work out. Since the moment my brother landed in the airport, it was only about him and not me. I couldn't have had it any other way.

I am sure I learned a lot from this trip. I wouldn't say, I never had it in me. I believe I could have done it all along. I just never had the chance to prove it, I never tried and somehow maybe I was afraid to try. I needed this opportunity becoz I wouldn't have let my fear take hold of me when it comes to family. When it comes to family, I become fearless. I needed this moment to prove I was more than just talk, that my words were supported with action.

U would expect that I would feel satisfied from my recent accomplishment. However, I feel somehow sad, becoz of what this moment means to my family. This is a moment of change, the first step to an unknown future. Though my family is united in an unbreakable bond of strength, I feel sad that we are now all physically scattered all around, distant from each other. It's a change I was somehow afraid of. I am not sure of what comes next. I already have my own cloudy fate to worry about, but I am worried about my family and our national heritage. I am worried that I feel so helpless in the face of out of control and unfavorable odds.

I think I earned my place as a member of this family I love and cherish so much, but I don't feel satisifed saying that the "mission was accomplished" from this trip. Somehow, I sense the uncertainty, I sense there is something missing, something i may not have planned for, something I am not be prepared to face, that lies hidden in the horizon...

Going to Motor City

2008-08-18T23:04:00.001-07:00

At the end of this week, I will embark on my first fully independent adventure. Don't take me wrong. I've been previously on road trips, vacations and travels. However, this is the first time, I plan and execute it all on my own. It's actually way more than a typical recreational trip. There's a higher objective to it, an unselfish one and much more at stake. I will be flying to Michigan and renting a car there to help my younger bro settle down over there. He's going to University of Michigan. So this has a greater meaning to me as a person and a brother. My older brother did the same for me when I first moved to Los Angeles. He made it possible. I don't think I would have done it without him. Now it's my turn to do the same to my younger bro. The torch was passed down to me. I need to make sure he's fully settled over there with everything he may need in the short period I'm there.

I'm quite excited. I don't know how successful this trip would be. I think i'm already prepared for it. I don't think there's anything more i can do at the moment. There is no practice in this game. I have to get it right from the first try. I think it will also be a great experience for me and my bro. This will be big. I am sure it will change things in the long run. It will open up some locked doors in my mind. I also could use a change of environment. I feel burned out. This is my chance...

You gotta lose your mind in Detroit Rock City!

Motor City here i come!!!

Detroit Rock City

2008-08-18T22:44:00.000-07:00

This is a tribute to the once capital city of the automobile industry, Detroit also known as Motor City, now plagued with economic and financial woes as the Big 3 struggle for survival. I will be going there the coming weekend.

I picked this song by Kiss which was written as a tribute to a Kiss fan who died in a car accident on his way to a Kiss concert in Detroit., forever to be immortalized as a rock' n roll martyr and hero in this classic song.

There's no other song that makes this city rock the way this one does!

"Get up
Everybody's gonna move their feet
Get down
Everybody's gonna leave their seat
You gotta lose your mind in detroit rock city"

Motor city here i come!!!

Detroit Rock City (Kiss)

I feel uptight on a saturday night
Nine o clock, the radio's the only light
I hear my song and it pulls me through
Comes on strong, tells me what I got to do
I got to

Get up
Everybody's gonna move their feet
Get down
Everybody's gonna leave their seat
You gotta lose your mind in detroit rock city

Get up
Everybody's gonna move their feet
Get down
Everybody's gonna leave their seat

Getting late
I just cant wait
Ten oclock and I know I gotta hit the road
First I drink, then I smoke
Start up the car, and I try to make the midnight show

Get up
Everybody's gonna move their feet
Get down
Everybody's gonna leave their seat

Movin' fast, doin' 95
Hit top speed but I'm still movin much too slow
I feel so good, I'm so alive
I hear my song playin' on the radio
It goes

Get up
Everybody's gonna move their feet
Get down
Everybody's gonna leave their seat

Twelve oclock, I gotta rock
There's a truck ahead, lights starin' at my eyes
Oh my god, no time to turn
I got to laugh cause I know I'm gonna die
Why

Get up
Everybody's gonna move their feet
Get up
Everybody's gonna leave their seat

Some Thoughts on Nationalism, Individualism, Religion

2008-08-16T21:16:00.000-07:00

I may be classified as an individualist or not nationalist but there r different kinds of those. I am an individualist in the sense that i believe individuals r important and have rights. They think freely and act freely. But that doesn't mean i'm selfish. I care about others and that is y i sometimes disagree with blind nationalism becoz they only c individuals as tools for a personal cause, or some cause that serves their own interests.

I believe in a national identity. One should never deny where one comes from. I am proud of my heritage, but it's not becoz we have big stuff or we invaded the world or dumb stuff like that. I am proud of my country's thousands of years of history, diversity, openness, culture and values. These r things one can be proud of. It's not about size or money. However, i will criticize my country when i c something wrong in the way they do things. I would criticize my country becoz i too love it. I want it to be better. I don't accept the wrong things in it. U c that is the thing the extreme nationalists don't get. U think if one criticizes something, he hates it. It's not true. If people r doing bad things and no one points it out, they will keep doing those bad things on and on.

Well, u may claim religion is similar to nationalism. However, i believe religion is greater than country. It's a more personal and deeper relationship. It's about what u believe in and how u devote ur life and the meaning behind it. There's no way to compare. Believing in religion is totally different than country. Faith is above all.

I may be a hopeless ideal as u might say, but shouldn't we try to better ourselves? Shouldn't we aspire for a higher objective? Wouldn't u feel bad deep down if u walk by something that is wrong and pretended not to c? Doesn't it weigh heavily on one's conscience? That's what makes one man better than another. Or should we be just easily corrupted and sold for the highest bidder?

Don't u think this world would be a greater place if we could all get along? Y these feelings of hatred and elitism, discrimination, this discrepancy between rich and poor. Y do we look down on each other? Y do we have to compete to crush and humiliate each other instead of compete to produce a greater good, an accomplishment that serves us all? Don't u want to live in such a world? Who wouldn't want to?

Image more important than people?

2008-08-12T22:24:00.001-07:00

It's all over the news. Everyone is talking about the Olympic games, the opening ceremony... I just don't understand how Chinese focus more on image than anything else. I don't believe in that. I don't want to be respected for my image but for my substance.

U know, some people when they get married they decide to have a huge wedding, spend a lot of money to plan it, invite a lot of people, try to let everybody know they're getting married, try to impress them and get their attention. Some people already have a lot of money and they can afford it. There r other people who don't have the money but r willing to borrow money to have such a wedding. There r others who don't care as much and will spend a conservative amount within their capabilities or prefer to invest the money in other stuff as buying a house for their family. U know there r different kinds of people.

I am not a big fan of spending a lot of money just to get attention or respect. I am a strong opposer of that, no matter the reason. Obviously there r many who disagree with me. They can think whatever they want. I don't believe in fake things. I am not superficial.

In addition, i'm not a believer in the idea of "hey my country is number one, we r the best". I am who i make myself and not what my country makes of me. I want to be judged based on who i am and not where i come from.

Some people tend to forget there r several hundred million Chinese who still live in poverty. There r those who live in nice houses, go to private universities, go travelling for recreations, have nice cars, buy new clothes, eat in restaurants all the time. How about their compatriots who r still living for a dollar a day? What about them?

The Soviet Union also did similar things. They would spend tons of money trying to compete with US, building a huge army, competing in space race, when the money could have been spent on the people who needed it more.

I think all this showing off stuff is such a waste. Y do nations spend so much money trying to build tallest building, most beautiful cities, spectacular ceremonies, go to space, just to show off, when they face other problems internally. Now i understand for example that some may be done for scientific purposes or art but at what cost? The big question is: what about the people? Will the tallest building feed my children? will it take them to university? will it get them adequate affordable healthcare? will it guarantee their basic rights and increase their opportunities? These r the questions we must ask in the twenty first century.

Nationalism, an old relic?

2008-08-09T22:23:00.000-07:00

I sometimes wonder if nationalism has become an ancient relic. You may ask why this is so. I think the modern wold is being swept with globalization. Borders are opening up. Most countries have embraced the free market. There are no more boundaries in the information access. With the internet you can now reach anywhere you want. No country can now survive on its own and close up on itself. We have all become dependent on each other.

A few weeks ago, a deal was closed where the biggest American beer company Budweiser was sold to a Belgian/Brazilian beer company. Already the financial companies in the US, short of cash, are scurrying for urgent needed capital from abroad and mainly arab companies. A few weeks ago, the Chrysler Building in New York was sold to an Arab gulf company. Look at China, it is the world's manufacturing base. They already pump the US with money by buying US treasuries and bonds. I wonder to myself that a war between the 2 countries could never happen. US is too dependent on its China's exports. The US Big Oil has also lost its control on oil fields in many oil rich countries that have nationalized this expensive commodity, making US even more dependable on foreign oil. We have already an economic juggernaut in the European Union. The Euro has been beating up the US dollar. It is a living proof that nationalism has no place anymore in the modern world. Another friend of mine was telling me how Indian companies are buying up English companies. It's really becoming hard to define one company as being belonging to one nation.

Now jobs are exported. Products are cheaper to manufacture abroad. It is the trend. No one will accept the reversal which may mean a lot of sacrifices on everybody's side: higher prices for the manufacturer and thereby lower revenue and higher prices for the consumers.

Innovation knows no limits. People will look everywhere for new ideas. Everybody wants the best and they will do what it takes to get it. If they can't find it here. The will look somewhere else and they are willing to pay whatever it takes for it.

There are also rising powers in the world which in the coming decades will dominate the global economic scene. These include China, India, Russia and Brazil. The US is losing its dominance. Power will be redistributed all across the world. The idea of superpower will cease to exist in the sense that we all know it.

Besides, I don't believe that the world can ever survive a large scale war. One mistake can be catastrophic for everyone. World politics have become increasingly complex and delicate. Interests can't be jeapodized. The risk is far too great.

Let us not mention the rise of individualism in most of the world. Every person wants what's best for himself. People will immigrate to find better jobs, opportunities or education.

Intercultural contact has reached a climax. Travel has become easier. In addition the media is no longer restricted in its news covering. Most news is covered on the international level. Already the world wide web links everybody together and in the cyber world there is no such thing as nationality and bounderies. Cultural, ethnic and racial tolerance will keep increasing. Interact with different people will become the norm...

The world has become so complex and interconnected. Markets are expanding and there is no stopping it. At one point congested companies were fighting each other for consumer share in a single dried up town. Now, that may seem irrelevant or a waste of time when they can compete for countries and continents that haven't been tampered with yet. That is way more lucretive, especially on the long run.

I think this is the trend. It is the natural thing. If you try to resist it, you're bringing yourself back to the dark ages. It's the path of evolution. It's gonna happen. I have no doubt. The question is not whether it will happen or not, but the question is when...

Strange?

2008-08-09T22:04:00.000-07:00

Some strange things happened last week. The stranger thing is that though such strangeness may occur, few people may notice or even care.

While the world leaders and the rest of the world's attention was focused on the massive show and pyrotechnics at the Summer Olympic Games opening ceremony in Beijing, a war was erupting in South Ossetia which has now spread to Georgia between Russia/South Ossetian separatists on one side and Georgia on the other hand. Of course the world is too busy enjoying China's olympics that not many care of what goes on in the rest of the world even when thousands of lives are at stake...

Another strange news was the trial of Bin Laden's driver who was caught in Afghanistan. Yeah, u heard right, Bin Laden's driver was being charged with acts of terrorism. It was more of a show trial. I guess he was guilty by association. It's a frickin joke. The americans can feel safe now that the driver of the world's most wanted terrorist is brought to justice. The search for the cook and the guy who did his laundry still goes on...

I don't know about u but I think this scores high on my scale of strangess...

As i ponder on this world

2008-08-09T18:16:00.000-07:00

Some people can go on with their lives without any clue of what is going on in this world. I can't imagine being such a person. Perhaps if i did though, life would seem so easy. As the saying goes: "ignorance is a bliss". However, i can't accept living like that, in my own universe out of touch with reality, out of sync with the world...

I can never deny that i am part of the world, that i am connected and affected by it in every way. I wish sometimes i weren't. Life would seem care free if i did, but i can't accept living that way. Sometimes also we hold on to our past, our history that we lose focus on the present and the future that's being written as we speak. Maybe we feel disillusioned by grand dreams and moments of glory that have long passed and ceased to exist. The world is changing around us, and it's changing fast. It's changing so fast that it's becoming hard to keep up

As i ponder on this world that i live in, i sometimes feel so weak, so helpless, a spec of dust being blown in the winds of destiny. What i hate most in life, is the feeling of being out of control, incapable of making a difference, of contributing to something i believe in and cherish dearly. I tend to feel that whenever i see things change in a direction i dislike. What can one man really do? I already struggle with my own life. My own problems seem like mountains to conquer. How can i face the world, when i can barely face myself?

Being a nostalgic person, I have always had the past, the memories to enjoy and hold on too. When i notice how things have evolved, i keep a grip on the past. Things back then seemed simpler, purer, clearer and more sensible. I surely miss the old days.

It is no secret that i don't like how things have been changing around me. I know i can't do much to stop it. I try to keep up with it, though it saddens me to be a part of it. I am forced to play a game i dislike and i'm not particularly good at. At the moment, i can't help but take care of myself. I may not be able to change the world, but perhaps i can make sure that my own world doesn't fall out of my control. I know everytime i will read the newspaper, it will be more bad news to read, but i won't stop reading. I will not hide from it. I will continue the fight for my life, in the center of a messed up world. Perhaps when the challenges around u r overwhelming, the joys of success will be far greater and everlasting...

Everything Counts in Large Amounts

2008-08-04T22:24:00.000-07:00

This is perhaps my favourite song from one of my favourite bands Depeche Mode. This is undoubtedly a timeless classic. I remember listening to it when i first discovered Depeche Mode. One of my favourite radio broadcaster used to be one of the biggest fans of Depeche Mode. So thanks to him, I bought the singles album (81-85). Ever since it has become one of my most cherished possessions. Their music is so rich, instrumentally complex and melodic. Most of all, their lyrics were heavy with deep and meaningful themes. I sure miss those days...

Anyway, this one goes to the capitalist societies. It's a song about corporate greed and the dirty business deals behind it, all for the sake of increasing wealth and revenue, regardless of the expense.

I think this song reflects our modern culture. Values and morals have long been traded for money and materialism. It's all about getting bigger things, buying more expensive stuff even though we don't need them. It's about the money, the big 5 bedroom house, the coolest sports car, the country club subscription, the Hummer, the cellphone, the latest tech gadgets, the botox, the plastic face and boobs, the cruise trip...

Once u have them all, u're still not satisfied. U keep wanting more and more. What's even worse is that u never want to share it with anyone else. It's all mine, mine, mine. It's a competitive world, the big fish eats the smaller one and no one affords to be the smaller fish. It's dog eats dog, rat eat rat, live and let die. It's never enough, no matter how much u got...

Depeche mode couldn't have said it any clearer:

"The grabbing hands
Grab all they can
All for themselves
After all

It's a competitive world
Everything counts in large amounts"

Everything Counts (Depeche Mode)

The handshake
Seals the contract
From the contract
There's no turning back
The turning point
Of a career
In Korea, being insincere
The holiday
Was fun packed
The contract
Still intact

The grabbing hands
Grab all they can
All for themselves
After all

It's a competitive world
Everything counts in large amounts

The graph
On the wall
Tells the story
Of it all
Picture it now
See just how
The lies and deceit
Gained a little more power
Confidence
Taken in
By a sun tan
And a grin

The grabbing hands
Grab all they can
All for themselves
After all

It's a competitive world
Everything counts in large amounts

The grabbing hands
Grab all they can
Everything counts in large amounts

Another reason to hate the airlines

2008-08-04T21:53:00.000-07:00

There are many reasons y i hate flying. I like to add a few more reasons to that lately, mostly focusing on the economic side of it and the quality of service.

Airlines have been bleeding badly from the ever skyrocketing price of gas. Airlines have resisted increasing ticket fees for fear of losing valuable and loyal customers. So they recently have resorted to charging fees for previously basic free courtesy services.

Initially i wondered y american airlines in general never included lunch for tickets of travel from coast to coast or the headphones for listening to the radio or flight movie. After all, it's a 6 hour flight. I would assume the food is included. The typical flight from Lebanon to France for example takes less time and includes lunch or dinner and free headsets usage. Then I thought, perhaps flights from Lebanon to France are more expensive thereby an included meal would not seem so generous.

That was back then, 4 years ago. Things have changed since then. They have changed considerably the past year. Now american airlines started charging for the second checked in luggage for flights inside the US. Then they started charging for the first luggage too. Afterwards, they increased the fee for the second luggage.

Well, u would think they hit a brick wall in ideas. Well, guess what? U were wrong to assume so. Today Jet Blue announced that they would soon start charging $7 for pillows and blankets. Then i started wondering to myself how far they would go with this? Are they gonna start charging passengers per weight? Probably not since some may file discrimination lawsuits. I mean what's next from here? How about charging passengers for using the restroom during flight? Are they gonna go that far?

I don't know the answer to these questions. One thing for sure, flying is not going to get any more fun than it already is. Of course, i was being sarcastic...

Miss the old me

2008-08-04T21:29:00.000-07:00

I sometimes miss my old self. It's true i have long matured since then. I am now more patient, more calculating, more thoughtful, more tolerant and more politically correct. However i miss my enthusiasm, my impulsiveness, my explosive expressiveness, my burning passion, my energy and fearlessness. Month after month, i feel this country and this society chipping away another part of my youth and identity, converting me into a religion of silence and inexpression.

I used to think it was part of growing up. I don't think so anymore. I think it is a result of my life here. I feel stuck in my current state. I crave for something new, a sign of hope and change to the better, but none ever comes. I try to hold my fort, but the stronger i try to defend it from falling down or against any breach or intrusion, i find myself lonelier and more secluded than ever. It feels this fortress i try to defend will eventually turn into my lonely tomb...

This culture and society has deprived me from the values i used to believe in. At times, it has turned me against them even. There were other times, it made me forget who i am, instead of cherishing and protecting my roots and proud past. Now i feel i almost don't believe in anything. How meaningless it is to live for no reason. I hold on to one thing which keeps me going, the hope that this state will soon come to end. How soon is that? I don't know. I hope its as soon as possible, before i reach a state of no return, the long road back to my old true self.

Necessary Losses

2008-07-26T14:52:00.000-07:00

Every game has a winner and a loser. Losing is a natural part of the game along with winning. There's a saying that before u can win, u have to learn to lose. It's part of the process. U may try to minimize ur losses and cut ur risks. However, the fear of losing sometimes can hold u back. It would prevent u from pushing harder. It's like swimming across the river to the other side. There is a risk the strong current would sweep u away. Even though the reward is great at the other side, u prefer staying on ur side of the river where all the other contestants who chose not risk it all stayed behind satisfied with what they already have.

I would not describe myself in general when it comes to financial matters as a risk taker. I cherish my individuality and financial freedom, but i would never risk losing it. I can't ever imagine myself going back to the time when i was dependent on others for support. That's y i tend not to take risks that could jeopardize my hold on my most valuable asset, my freedom. I don't want to be swept away by the river and have someone dive in to save me from drowning.

However with time, i am starting to learn, that some risk is necessary, some losses are unavoidable. I am not taking them for the sake of losing or experiencing the feeling of loss. That would be stupid. However, the potential gain of reaching the other end is strong incentive to take that risk. Perhaps the short term risk is great, but for the long term, the chances are higher. Perhaps with experience from previous losses, the chances of success later would increase. Now is the time. I can somehow afford losing. I am all alone and i only support myself. If i don't jump into the river now. Later on, i would not have the strength and energy to complete the trip, plus i may have other dependents on my side of the river, more weight to drag with me. The stress of loss will be great. The consequences of a loss will be even greater.

So what am i waiting for? Time to dive into the river?!?!

No Signs of Humanity

2008-07-26T14:20:00.000-07:00

This is seriously disturbing. I don't know how to describe this. There's something terribly wrong with this society. Day after day, u can feel it affecting u. U start to become desensitized and cold. U lose feelings and emotions. U just mind ur own thing and care about nothing else. U reach a point where u would walk by people dying on the streets and u would not even notice. It's not like reality. It feels like watching TV. It's scary. I hope it doesn't ever get to me. Last thing i want is to become like them, a zombie void of any sign of humanity or compassion...

Hit & Run Victim Ignored. It took a minute before somebody took action to help the victim dying in the middle of the street. People were just walking by and staring. One guy talking on the cellphone walked close and took a look and then kept going. The victim as eye witnesses mentioned was bleeding all over from the head and eyes. Even the cars driving next to him would just pass through.

A 49 year-old woman died on the psychiatric emergency room floor at Kings County Hospital in Brooklyn, NY. The woman was on the floor for almost an hour before hospital staff tended to her. The other patienst sitting next to her simply ignored her. The nurses and hospital staff also ignored her, even though she was lying motionless on the ground. The cause of her death is unknown.

Woman Dies in ER at Martin Luther King Harbor Hospital: Two Calls to 911 from Hospital Lobby ignored. She was bleeding all over the place and the janitors simply mopping the blood around her as she was dying.

Fiddler On The Green

2008-07-16T22:57:00.000-07:00

This is one of my favourite songs. Great lyrics. Great vocals and great musicianship. A truly great power metal ballad with a bittersweet ending. I especially like how it starts as a sad folk style acoustic song, gradually builds up and concludes in an exploding powerful and expressive metal climax.

The song depicts a tale about the Fiddler (the enigmatic figure of Death, aka the Reaper) who seems to have taken the life of a boy by accident. The Green here seems to be a figure for the afterlife. To make up for his wrongdoing, he tries to find a companion for the boy in the afterlife. He finds this girl which seems to have been connected to that boy somehow perhaps when he was still alive. The tale seems to be written mostly from the girl's point of view, at the moment before she's fatally wounded and dying after apparently accidentally trying to cross the street on a red light. She recalls the dream she had the night before about a fiddler with a sad boy. The fiddler revealed to her that the boy had been taken too early and asks her if she is willing to be taken too. The Reaper appears to her again after she was severely wounded and reminds her that the poor lonely boy is still waiting for her and pitifully regrets his misdoing. He asks her to take his hand so she can feel no more pain. She agrees or perhaps pleas by replying: "It would be nice", and the girl is taken away to the afterlife eternally joined with the little boy. Now they are sadly both dead, but at least together forever, a sad yet bittersweet ending...

Fiddler On The Green (by Demons And Wizards)

Sad voices they're calling
Our precious girl she can't be gone
How bitter this morning
When daddy's darling
Went out and started her day
Wasn't there a dream last night
Like a spring never ending
Still the water runs clear
Through my mind
On the field I can see a fiddler
The fiddler on the green and the sad boy
I took him too early
Would you mind
Would you mind
Would you mind
If I take you
To be with you
To be with you
To be with you
To be with you
The sun seemed bright
The air was clear
The air was clear
A trick of light
Turned red into green
She saw the light
Her face was pale
Her body smashed
Her beauty's gone
Isn't it a shame
The reaper said
He is quite alone here
And still waiting for you
Oh I really did fail for the first time
Spoke the fiddler, poor old fiddler
The fiddler on the green
The fiddler on the green
It would be nice:
Take my hand
Just hold my hand
I'll take you there
Your pain will go away

Being Happy vs. Doing the Right Thing

2008-07-15T22:05:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you have to choose between being happy or doing the right thing. There are times when you are faced with 2 choices. The first choice being something you desire and want and the second being something you have to do not necessarily for yourself but may demand a self sacrifice. The former is the easy one and the latter, the hard one. There are times when you have to sacrifice your own happiness for the sake of something greater, beyond your own needs and desires.

People tend to always choose what makes them happy, something with instant gratification and relief. It is human nature I guess. I believe in the second choice. I believe in doing the right thing even if it may mean giving up on happiness. I believe in objectives far greater than my own life and well being. I believe in a higher logic, a higher reason greater than my own existence. I believe in devoting one's self to something beyond one's limited and momentary self interest.

Think of it as being high on drugs. It can never last. Soon, the feeling will die out and you'll end up depressed and wanting more. You lose control. You become just a pleasure seeker, blinded by your own never ending thirst and rendered helpless and enslaved by your substance dependency.

I don't believe that one should devote oneself just to doing what brings instant happiness. I don't believe life is just about being happy. Simple instantaneous happiness implies ignorance, naivety, uselessness and meaninglessness. Living a meaningful life many times requires sacrifice and expecting some pain and sadness along the way.

My Take on Things

2008-07-07T23:43:00.000-07:00

You know life is tough sometimes. It tends to be way tougher when you're doing your own thing, when you're trying to make it your own way, when you decide to lead your own path instead of being a mere blind mindless follower.

Now i don't think i'm good at first impressions. I'm not a good actor. I never was good at faking things. I know once people get to know me, they'll realize the good things in me. However first impressions are hard to get over sometimes. People don't give you another chance anymore. That's how people are. I may overcome that by pretending to be someone else from the start, but that wouldn't be me.

As i said, things are gonna be tough. This is no easy ride. I am also not gonna hold hands and start singing happy songs and hope everything will turn out fine. It doesn't work like that. I need to get my hands dirty. I am gonna keep trying, and i am gonna keep losing until I win. I am not selling out and i am not compromising my true value. I also know that eventually when things do work out for me, I am gonna sit back and i am gonna finally feel that I truly deserved it, that I lived my time, that i finally made it, and i made it on my own against all the odds and with everybody spitting in my face. I will feel like i own the world, master of my own destiny. I know then that when someone asks me how i did it, i will look them in the eye, and i will say that i did it MY way and on MY OWN terms. There's nothing that can top that, not because I can say that to others, but because I can say it to myself with self satisfaction. After all, i did it for me and not for anybody else.

I deserve an Oscar for that speech :)

What's so bad about complaining?

2008-07-06T18:13:00.000-07:00

I keep getting the following attitude from some people:
"Negativity only makes problems worse, therefore, sitting there and moping around because they think things suck. I know that things can always be worse, so when bad situations arise, I am grateful that they aren't so bad. It's called life, it isn't easy, I have just excepted it. I take what is handed to me without too much complaint."

Here's what i think about that:
I totally agree that blind negativity is useless. On the other hand, holding hands and singing happy songs is not gonna make this world a better place. There is nothing wrong with complaining. It's better outside than inside. It's quite a healthy stress reliever.

When someone complains to me, i take it as a sign of trust. Can you really complain to a stranger? Can you reveal your deepest concerns and fears to someone? If you do, it would be to someone you trust, someone you can be yourself with, someone whose opinion and advice you cherish, someone who you know will listen to you and respect your feelings and opinion.

In fact, just because things don't work the way we think they should, doesn't mean we have to accept them. If everyone screws around. I can't just say, that's the way things work. "If you can't beat them, then join them". As the saying goes.

When i say, there is nothing wrong with complaining, i mean complaining constructively and going out trying to fix things, voicing my opinion against them and doing something about it. That's how i see things.

I still recall

2008-07-04T22:46:00.000-07:00

I still recall that day, the day when my life skewed off its path. I still recall the day when i woke up from the fairy tale, when i learned about life and death, the day i stopped being a child, the day i was forced to grow up...

I've come a long way since then. I have learned to move on. I have trained myself to look ahead and not linger forever on the unchangeable past. However, i can never forget.

I used to wonder how things could have been if that day had never occurred. I could never imagine how things could have been. It is way beyond the limits of my imagination. It is pointless to even try.

I was at the age of innocence, the age of idols, a time of heroes and perfect images. That age is long gone, but the idols of that time still remain untainted, locked in a incorruptible never aging snapshot untarnished by time. As i grow older and my view of this world grows grey and shady, the images before that day will always remain pure, bright and white...

I guess that is how legends come to life...

The Sky is Falling!!!

2008-07-03T13:32:00.000-07:00

I lost a lot of money today in the stock market, the most i've ever lost in a single day. I messed up i have to say. I was doing very well this year overall until the last month. Many other investors were doing badly but i was doing well. Then i got greedy and the stock i owned lately started going down. I didn't want to sell it, coz i got greedy. I thought it would go back up. It kept going down following the whole market trend downwards. TO make things even worse, yesterday the company lowered its second quarter revenue estimates and expected higher expenses and hell was unleashed on this undeserving stock. Today it got hammered and crashed going down 30%!!! Investors were overpunishing it severely. It sure took a beating.

It hurts. I have to say this is not my job. I do this on the side, u know for my retirement plan, if i ever live to c it. I am kind of out of it right now. One day you're doing really great, then the next day you're down in the gutter.

Sign, ah well, i'm gonna go get myself a drink, make that a couple of drinks, go back home and pass out. There's still tomorrow. I still got my brain after all, the best asset of all, the only thing that doesn't fluctuate with time and is only priced by me and no other. I also still have a job and a roof above my head...

Just to be heard

2008-07-03T11:46:00.001-07:00

Sometimes all we ask for is to be heard. At least, listen to what we have to say and then judge us afterwards. When you like someone and you're trying to make a move, you just want that person to listen to what you have to say about yourself sincerely. When you apply for a job, you just want the employer to listen to what you have to say about your credentials and qualifications before evaluating you.

That's all i ask for, momentary attention, the chance to be heard and taken seriously before being dismissed and pushed to the sidelines. Is that too much to ask for? It is so easy to judge on first looks and i generally don't perform well at first impressions. First impressions can be deceiving. A deeper and more thorough look is always necessary to get the big clear picture.

I chose this Bo Diddley song since it portrays this message best: "You can't judge a book by its cover"...

You Can't Judge a Book by its Cover(Bo Diddley)

You can't judge an apple by looking at a tree
You can't judge honey by looking at the bee
You can't judge a daughter by looking at the mother
You can't judge a book by looking at the cover
Oh can't you see, oh you misjudge me
I look like a farmer, but I'm a lover
You can't judge a book by looking at the cover
Oh come on in closer baby,
hear what else I gotta say!
You got your radio turned down too low
Turn it up!
You can't judge sugar by looking at the cane
You can't judge a woman by looking at her man
You can't judge a sister by looking at her brother
You can't judge a book by looking at the cover
Oh can't you see, oh you misjudge me
I look like a farmer, but I'm a Lover
You can't judge a book by looking at the cover
You can't judge a fish by lookin' in the pond
You can't judge right from looking at the wrong
You can't judge one by looking at the other
You can't judge a book by looking at the cover
Oh can't you see, oh you misjudge me
I look like a farmer, but I'm a lover
You can't judge a book by looking at the cover

Spoiled Selfish People

2008-07-03T11:16:00.001-07:00

I originally planned to go to the cinema with one of my housemates on sunday close to the beach. However my housemate didn't want to go to the beach and invited another girl to join in. So i decided to go to another cinema in another area. I drove there all the way and went in to the theater. It turned out the movie was not playing there. So i thought we could drive further to another cinema to catch that movie. SO i drove further to 3rd st, Santa Monica and after some time we were there. It was crowded and it was already hard enough to find a parking spot. We walked to the cinema and it turned out the next session the movie was going to be played was in 1 hour and 30 minutes. Then the invited girl started complaining that that session was too late and she didn't want to see the movie anymore. She had to be home early. She also didn't want to walk there in the sun since it was warm. I was so upset by her spoiled and inconsiderate attitude. It's as if the world revolves around her. What about the rest of us? How could she even have the nerve to look me in the face and say that? It's not up to her to spoil our whole plan. She even suggested that i drive her back home and we can go back to watch the movie. I mean what am i? a taxi driver? I didn't want to make a scene. I let her know how i felt without getting into a fight and i drove back home immediately. What a wasteful and useless day. I work 5 days a week and all i ask for is some rest and fun during my free time. So much for that.

Some people are really ungrateful, shameless and despicably selfish. They just think about themselves and only themselves. It's like when you give some change to a beggar or a homeless guy and they complain it's too little. It's all about me, me, me. Sometimes we have to go with the flow even if we don't like it. That's called teamwork. That's the secret to group power. We can't expect that everyone will do what we want to do. The majority rules and the host's hospitality is above all respected and acknowledged. If someone invites you, you have no right to impose your opinion. I had every right to oppose her, but i was courteous enough not to. 2 years ago, i would have ripped her apart.

Death of Customer Service

2008-07-03T10:49:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday i went to the local Pep Boys Auto shop to get my car smog checked. I thought i would be in and out in 30 minutes. Little did i know how wrong i was.

So i came in and i was told i had to wait an hour for my turn. It was a saturday afternoon and i really wanted to get this done since i'm busy during business hours in the middle of the week and everything was closed on Sunday. SO i left my car there and went across the street for a bite. I came back they had started working on my car. I was observing them from a distance. They seemed to be conducting the smog check to my car, though it seemed to be taking a long time. I waited and waited until it was almost 2 hours. I asked one of the workers there about the delay. He tried to re-assure me. Then after 10 minutes. He told me the smog machine was not working and they were trying to fix it but they won't be able to get it working until monday!

I couldn't believe that. I just wasted 2 hours of my time for nothing. They could have mentioned that an hour ago. I was so upset. I have never seen such incompetence in my life. Not only are they incompetent, they are also liars. Why on earth didn't they tell me earlier? How about compensating me for this horrible service? What ever happened to good customer service? As if i had nothing better to do than to waste my time for nothing. They also have the nerve to ask me to come back on monday. I have to work and there is no way i would skip work to go their store. Needless to say, i won't be going back to that place again.

So i was advised to go to a nearby gas station to get the smog check done. I went there and was surprised the guy was trying to overcharge me for the smog check. I guess he saw the desperate look in my eyes. He didn't seem to care if i wanted to get it done there or not. SO i just left and ended up doing it at another place close to my work on monday in 20 minutes for a reasonable amount of money.

There was also another small incident where i was at this Boba shop and i ordered a drink with no ice. I made it clear i didn't want my drink with ice and saw the lady who worked there put it down in writing. Anyway i was surprised that the lady who made my drink ended up adding ice. I told her i asked for the drink specifically with no ice and she said there was only a couple of ice cubes in my drink and it was ok. I mean does she get paid to avoid doing her work? I can't believe she was putting on a defiant attitude with me. Whatever happened to the idea that the customer is always right? You made a mistake, admit it, fix it and move on. It was obvious the drink was filled up with ice cubes. In the end, with some resistance and a grin, she changed my drink the way i initially requested.

Anyway, the conclusion is that nowadays customer service is dead. It used to be a basic right, something you would expect when you get serviced. It's part of human nature, to be nice to other guests, hospitable and generous. It's part of the business etiquette, to invest in the future, to deal appropriately with clients so they can do business with them again in the future. Now it's a luxury. You have to pay extra for it. Expect to be treated like shit from now on. However, i will voice my complaint when they do. I will not accept this attitude and will fight hard for my right. It may work for companies who treat their clients like that in the short term, but in the long run, they will lose a lot of their customers.

The Road to Hell

2008-06-26T23:39:00.000-07:00

I used to think that the song below "The Road to Hell" was sung by Leonard Cohen. It turned out to be a song by Chris Rea, and quite an amazing one, i might add.

I thought i'd pick this song for this post in these difficult days we are living in. No one knows where this road we're taking leads. The US economy is in a severe slowdown. We're in the middle of a credit crunch and the housing market is crashing. The US Dollar is free falling, stocks are rolling downhill. Gas prices keep rising.

The path is dark, scary, narrow and steep and it seems to be leading nowhere but downhill with many obstacles and trenches in our way. I don't know how we got here in the first place, how we're going to get off it and where we're going to end up. It seems like we're on the road to hell...

The Road To Hell (Part II)
Artist: Chris Rea
Album: The Road To Hell

Well I'm standing by a river
But the water doesn't flow
It boils with every poison you can think of
And I'm underneath the streetlight
But the light of joy I know
Scared beyond belief way down in the shadows
And the perverted fear of violence
Chokes the smile on every face
And common sense is ringing out the bell
This ain't no technological breakdown
Oh no, this is the road to hell

And all the roads jam up with credit
And there's nothing you can do
It's all just bits of paper flying away from you
Oh look out world, take a good look
What comes down here
You must learn this lesson fast and learn it well
This ain't no upwardly mobile freeway
Oh no, this is the road
Said this is the road
This is the road to hell

Living on my Own

2008-06-26T22:59:00.000-07:00

Another good friend of mine left LA for good the past Tuesday. There was a time when i would be extremely sad to see a good friend of mine depart. However, time after time, friend after friend, I learned the hard way, i got used to the reality of life especially here in the US. I got used to living on my own.

Now i get over it, quickly. Sometimes, it may take me a couple of days. Experience has taught me well, how to accept that good friends like good things in life must eventually come to end. Friendships have their unique great moments and climaxes that can never be recreate again as time and circumstances change. All we can do is move on and cherish the good memories we once had. When the time comes to meet our long gone friends once again, we can momentarily show respect, acknowledgment and appreciation to those good memories, but reside and give in to the empowering fleeting time which dilutes the strongest of all friendships...

Life can be extremely lonely at times. We keep moving on hoping for the best, dreaming of better times, new discoveries and great unexpected friendships to come on the way...

I thought Freddie Mercury's song "Living on My Own" describes this feeling best, capturing the sadness and melancholy of being lonely in addition to the wonder, optimism and happiness from the anticipation of good things bound to happen.

Freddie Mercury - Living On My Own Lyrics

Sometimes I feel I'm gonna break down and cry (so lonely)
Nowhere to go, nothing to do with my time
I get lonely, so lonely, living on my own

Sometimes I feel I'm always walking too fast (so lonely)
And everything is coming down on me, down on me
I go crazy, oh so crazy, living on my own (living on my own)

Dee do de de, dee do de de
I don't have no time for no monkey business
Dee do de de, dee do de de
I get so lonely lonely lonely lonely yeah Got to be some good times ahead

Sometimes I feel nobody gives me no warning
Find my head is always up in the clouds in a dream world
It's not easy living on my own, my own, my own

Dee do de de (lonely), dee do de de (lonely)
I don't have no time for no monkey business
Dee do de de, dee do de de
I get so lonely lonely lonely lonely yeah
Got to be some good times ahead

Dee dup de dup de dup... .. .come on baby!

Dee do de de, dee do de de
I don't have no time for no monkey business
Dee do dc de, dee do de de
I get so lonely lonely lonely lonely yeah
Got to be some good times ahead

Dee dup de dup de dup, hey...

Living on my own, living on my own
Living on my own, living on my own, oh!

Another Discriminating US Immigration Law

2008-06-18T20:02:00.000-07:00

I just heard this ridiculous law yesterday from some housemate. I couldn't believe it and it didn't make sense to me, so i did some research on my own. Another dumb law by the American government. If this is true, it seems they are dying to find a way to kick out international students from US.

From what i understood, in a nutshell, any student who is under OPT (Optional Practical Training) starting April 8, 2008 is subject to this new law where a student under OPT is not allowed to remain more than the cumulative of 90 working days of unemployment within the 12 months of his OPT period and 120 days for 12+17 months OPT period(17 month extension was created to lower demand for H1Bs for engineering students). If the student changes jobs within his OPT period, he is given 10 extra days to that period and the total unemployed days add up within his OPT period. So let's say the student spent 60 days applying before he found a job and then he decided to quit that job, he would still have 30+10 days to find another job (for 90 day case), or else if were to exceed that time limit, he would be considered out of status.

Previously, a graduating student had 1 full year of OPT (regardless of whether he was employed or not).

So first they come up with the 17 month OPT extension for engineering students to lower pressure on H1 demand (instead of increasing H-1B quota) and now this 90/120 day rule. It seems the witch hunt against foreigner LEGAL workers continues. What's next? come after us with forks and torches?

A moment of silence as we ponder on the inscription, no longer valid nowadays, of the Statue of Liberty, which once upon a time meant to welcome ALL visitors, IMMIGRANTS and returning Americans at the gates of this country:

"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me.
I lift my lamp beside the golden door."

God bless America, land of the free and home of the brave!

This is the info i obtained from UC Berkeley website.

Beds Are Burning

2008-06-18T19:46:00.000-07:00

The song "Bed Are Burning" by AUstralian renowned band "Midnight Oil" was originally written in 1987 as a plea for the land right of Indigenous Australians. This can be heard clearly in the lyrics: "The time has come to say fair's fair, to pay our rent, to pay our share... it belongs to them, let's give it back".

Interesting enough, the singer of the band, Peter Garett, later became in 2007 a Member of the Parliament in Australia(Minister for Environment, Heritage and the Arts).

This song is undoubtedly their most famous song and my personal favourite. I really miss the days when songs were not just a tool to make money and sell records, songs like Genesis' "Land of Confusion", "Faith No More"'s "We care a lot", etc., the days when singers had something meaningful to say to the world.

I just love the chorus:
"How can we dance when our earth is turning
How do we sleep while our beds are burning
How can we dance when our earth is turning
How do we sleep while our beds are burning"

-----------------------------------------------
Beds Are Burning (Midnight Oil)

Out where the river broke
The bloodwood and the desert oak
Holden wrecks and boiling diesels
Steam in forty five degrees

The time has come
To say fair's fair
To pay the rent
To pay our share
The time has come
A fact's a fact
It belongs to them
Let's give it back

How can we dance when our earth is turning
How do we sleep while our beds are burning
How can we dance when our earth is turning
How do we sleep while our beds are burning

The time has come to say fairs fair
to pay the rent, now to pay our share

Four wheels scare the cockatoos
From Kintore East to Yuendemu
The western desert lives and breathes
In forty five degrees

The time has come
To say fair's fair
To pay the rent
To pay our share
The time has come
A fact's a fact
It belongs to them
Let's give it back

How can we dance when our earth is turning
How do we sleep while our beds are burning
How can we dance when our earth is turning
How do we sleep while our beds are burning

The time has come to say fair's fair
To pay the rent, now to pay our share
The time has come, a fact's a fact
It belongs to them, we're gonna give it back

How can we dance when our earth is turning
How do we sleep while our beds are burning
--------------------------------------------
Original Music Clip:

At closing ceremony of Sydney Olympic Games in 2000, the band performed the song before Australian Prime Minister John Howard and millions of spectators under the title "The Time Has Come" wearing tracksuits emblazoned with the words "SORRY". This referred to the Howard government's refusal to apologize to Aboriginal Australians for the former policy of mistreating and removing Aboriginal children between 1869 and 1969 from their natural parents (stolen generation) and raised in white families. I thought I'd mention this as a great act of freedom of speech in contrast to the crackdown on freedom of speech at the 2008 Chinese Summer Olympic Games:

Porks & Beans

2008-06-12T22:26:00.000-07:00

I thought i'd add this popular video clip for the Weezer song "Porks & Beans", which i came across on Youtube. I personally like this song. It uses a lot of references on Youtube and internet hits and stars. It show the growing influence of internet on pop culture. Perhaps this is the beginning of a trend, the changing times. MTV used to launch stars, now Youtube is becoming the portal to fame. However, unlike the big screen, the only reward these internet sensations get is a number of views and perhaps some Google ad income from clicks and views. It's not like the big screen where stars sign contracts and get paid millions. Internet stars are mostly average people working independently. It's an interesting topic that was approached in the South Park episode "Canada on Strike" which also parodied many Youtube celebrities.

Anyway, i have to say the theme of the song is the most interesting thing about it. It's about being yourself and doing your own thing without worrying of what others think. I think it matches the video of the song, where a lot of the Youtube hits and stars were simply being themselves, acting naturally or spontaneously, producing their own show, dancing, singing a song, playing a musical instrument, doing weird stuff, breaking records, making fun of themselves. These may be regarded as little or silly by many people, yet they turned out to become internet sensations with millions of views. It really shows that creativity, art and innovation are deep rooted in basic human nature. They emerge from the simplest, most unconventional, personal and spontaneous human elements...

Youtube celebrities and internet phenomena referenced include:
Gary Brolsma, Matt McAllister, Mark Allen Hicks ("Afro Ninja"), Chris Crocker, Caitlin Upton, Judson Laipply, Kicesie, Tay Zonday, Kevin Federline (archival footage), Liam Kyle Sullivan, Ryan Weiber, Michael "Dorkman" Scott, Jeong-Hyun Lim, and the Star Wars kid, as well as references to the Dramatic Prairie Dog (including lookalikes of J-Pop group Mini Moni, who were in the original TV clip the Dramatic Prairie Dog originated from), Fritz Grobe and Stephen Voltz's Diet Coke and Mentos eruptions, parody G.I. Joe PSAs, catching Raybans with one's face, the Free Hugs Campaign, the Dancing Banana, Will It Blend?, All Your Base Are Belong to Us, One Man Band by Connor Berge, Daft Hands, Daft Bodies, the Sneezing Panda, the Soulja Boy dance, a CGI Donald Duck and King Kong, Charlie the Unicorn, and the UFO sighting in Haiti Hoax video.

Porks & Beans (Weezer)

They say
I need some Rogaine
To put in my hair
Work it out at the gym
To fit my underwear
Oakley makes the shades
That transform a tool
You'd hate
For the kids to think
That you lost your cool

I'mma do the things
That I wanna do
I ain't got a thing
To prove to you
I'll eat my candy
With the pork and beans
Excuse my manners
If I make a scene
I ain't gonna wear
The clothes that you like
I'm finally dandy
With the me inside
One look in the mirror
And I'm tickled pink
I don't give a hoot
About what you think

Everyone likes to dance
To a happy song
(Hey, hey)
With a catchy chorus and beat
So they can sing along
(Hey, hey)
Timbaland knows the way
To reach the top of the charts
Maybe if I work with him
I can perfect the art

I'mma do the things
That I wanna do
I ain't got a thing
To prove to you
I'll eat my candy
With the pork and beans
Excuse my manners
If I make a scene
I ain't gonna wear
The clothes that you like
I'm finally dandy
With the me inside
One look in the mirror
And I'm tickled pink
I don't give a hoot
About what you think

No I don't care
I don't care

I'mma do the things
That I wanna do
I ain't got a thing
To prove to you
I'll eat my candy
With the pork and beans
Excuse my manners
If I make a scene
I ain't gonna wear
The clothes that you like
I'm finally dandy
With the me inside
One look in the mirror
And I'm tickled pink
I don't give a hoot
About what you think
Totally different?

Silencing me

2008-06-10T12:08:00.000-07:00

The truth is, there is almost no one I can trust with my honest thoughts and feelings, and very few I can truly be myself with. It's the curse of always being misunderstood. No one really cares, or wants to hear what i have to say.

When I try to speak, they accuse me of saying too much.
When I express my opinion, they accuse me of being too aggressive.
When I voice my complaints or discontent, they accuse me of whining.
When I give a suggestion, they simply ignore me or don't take me seriously.
When I ask questions, they say I am interfering and being annoying.
When I am honest and truthful, they say I am mean and rude.
When I disagree, they claim i am being offensive and disrespectful.
When I confess my feelings, they say I am too sentimental.
When I am rational and objective, they say I am cold and heartless.

They just want to silence me...

When the mind chooses to play tricks

2008-06-08T22:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the mind can play tricks on us, it can make us feel and see certain things that don't really exist. It makes us feel disillusioned.

Sometimes we get these impulsive feelings, that r too intense to control or try to reason, that they tend to drive us to do irrational things. We feel like leaving everything behind and jumping into the unknown.

Sometimes we are all alone, weak and vulnerable. Then, for a moment we think we found a fleeting comforting feeling that we start to believe is our path to salvation and happiness. We create our own world of make believe, our only hope in life. It's like being high on drugs. It's nothing but a trick of mind...

Soon enough, we realize we were not really thinking straight, that it was all nothing but a distortion of reality, a sweet lie that we foolishly chose to believe. Time would eventuallyclear away the madness and the urge, the hallucinations that our mind created...

Dreams & Reality

2008-06-08T16:52:00.000-07:00

Some people have dreams. They dream of making it in this world, getting the job they always dreamed of or reaching a position they always aspired for.

I never had these dreams. I don't really dream. When it comes to my career, i only ask for what i'm worth. I don't want to feel lucky or privileged in getting a job. I don't want to feel like i've been selected for a certain job out of circumstances and element of chance. The job that i want is not a dream waiting to come true. What i want is reality. I want what i'm worth, my true value. I don't ask for generosity or a once in a lifetime opportunity. I ask for my right. I just want what i deserve in life.

Too long have I been undervalued. I want to know that i am using the maximum ability that i've been given. I hate to waste that. I can't live with the guilt of wasting my skills and abilities.

So if you ask me about my dream job. I don't have one. I know what i'm worth, and i know what i'm capable of. I only want that. I don't dream. My head is not in the clouds. I am well grounded, and i am asking for my right. I don't ask for charity. I don't ask for generosity. I only demand my right, to do what i've been trained to do, to create what i am capable of creating, and to be valued for my true potential.

You may dream a lot, but you may not get what you want, like a fish dreaming of flying. That is understandable. On the other hand, you may ask for your right, and that you must always get. Just as an eagle has the right to soar and rule the sky. If he is denied that right, than it is against the rules of nature. It makes no sense at all, being given wings for the reason to fly. There is no compromise or chance in that. It is justice, the law of the universe. You must always get that. Otherwise, you have been discriminated against and treated unfairly.

That is the difference between dreams and reality.

Hail Hail Rock'n' Roll

2008-06-04T19:48:00.000-07:00

Bo Diddley, one of the founding fathers of rock'n roll passed away 2 days ago. He joins many other great ones who are no longer walking among us. This post is a tribute to the spirit of rock'n roll and its titans. An underrated song by Garland Jeffreys and one of my personal favourites; this song honors and pays due and respect to rock'n' roll as the link between black and white people, the uniting factor between the races, symbol of freedom and the greatest triumph over racism. Jeffreys' music is a unique blend of rock and roll, blues, soul and reggae which reflects his mixed ethnicity being from a black and Puerto Rican heritage.

I love this song and I like how it deals with racism and the tribute at the end to the fathers of rock'n' roll by naming them all, the black and then the white:
"Little Richard, Chuck Berry, Bo Diddley, Fats Domino
Here come Elvis, Gene Vincent, Buddy Holly and Jerry Lee"

In the words of Chuck Berry:
"Hail, hail rock and roll
Deliver me from the days of old
Long live rock and roll
The beat of the drums, loud and bold
Rock, rock, rock and roll
The feelin is there, body and soul."

Hail Hail Rock'n' Roll (Garland Jeffreys)

Ahaha ahaha ....
Pockets of hate, rockets of love
It's never too late, the change in the color of
The color of her, the color of him
It really doesn't matter what skin you're in
Big yellow taxi cab passed me by
Stopped on the next corner to pick up a white guy
The color of you, the color of me
You can't judge a man by looking at the marque

Hail hail rock 'n' roll, comes from r 'n' b and soul
Don't leave me standing in the cold
I used to fake 'I never grow old'
Hail hail rock 'n' roll, don't leave me standing on the bleak
Don't leave me stranded on the street
I see the light, I feel the heat

Blame it on you, blame it on me
Now let's the race that won't let's get on history
Pain in my heart won't let me be
Take it from me but don't you take away my liberty
Father of coal, mother of pearl
Never too black to blush to pick up a white girl
The color of you, the color of me
You can't judge a man by looking at the marque

Hail hail rock 'n' roll, comes from r 'n' b and soul
Don't leave me standing in the cold
I used to fake 'I never grow old'
Hail hail rock 'n' roll, don't leave me standing on the bleak
Don't leave me stranded on the street
I see the light, I feel the heat

Little Richard, Chuck Berry, Bo Diddley, Fats Domino
Here come Elvis, Gene Vincent, Buddy Holly and Jerry Lee

Hail hail rock 'n' roll, comes from r 'n' b and soul ....
Hail hail rock 'n' roll, comes from r 'n' b and soul ....

Little Richard, Chuck Berry, Bo Diddley, Fats Domino
Here come Elvis, Gene Vincent, Buddy Holly and Jerry Lee
Little Richard, Chuck Berry, Bo Diddley, Fats Domino
Here come Elvis, Gene Vincent, Buddy Holly and Jerry Lee

A lifetime in 15 minutes

2008-06-01T23:44:00.000-07:00

I didn't know what to make of it. We hadn't talked to each other in a year and half even though we lived in the same house, and there she was about to go to the airport. I don't know why she finally decided to c me, right before she was about to leave, most likely for good...

I wanted to blame her for not trying to talk to me before and waiting to the last moment when i couldn't reject her.I felt it was unfair for me. What could i have done? I don't know.

I thought of talking to her a couple of days before, now that i knew she was gonna leave for good. i wanted to set things right, but i felt she was not the same person i've know before. That old friend of mine was long gone. It seemed she was perfectly happy with her friends and i didn't seem to fit in the new picture, so i just let it go. I held no grudges...

So she came to my room. ANother friend of hers asked me if i wanted to see her. I agreed. So there she was. I think the whole encounter lasted 10 to 15 minutes. How strange life can be, that a year and a half of silence would be compensated with 15 minutes. Part of me wished she would have gone in silence, i would have had a clear conscience that she didn't want to see me before she left, that she had forgotten me. I could live with that. After she talked to me, it felt the same, as if a year and a half ago was yesterday. I felt how much was missed. She didn't say a lot, well not enough, but when we hugged each other, i couldn't let go of her and she held me close and tight. It was like the times when i hugged her before a long time ago. I had tears in my eyes and she had tears in hers. THat was most expressive thing she did in those 15 minutes. I told her how much i missed her and i was sorry that i didn't try to talk to her before. I told her i thought she didn't want me anymore. I tried to confess to her how i felt about things and what was on my mind in the past.
She said she knew i cared for her, that i always ask her friends about her and that she did the same for me.
I don't know why i said those or what the point was. It was over now. It was too late...

Then her phone started to ring, so i let her go, but she ignored it. I asked her to give me her contact information, while i tried to look for something to give her, something to remind her of me, but i couldn't find it. She said it was ok even though i didn't tell he what i was looking for, and then one more hug, but a more formal one and i wished her good luck and farewell. That was the last time i saw her...

That was it, she was gone forever i suppose. I don't know if she'll contact me again or if i will. I don't know what she is for me now and what i am for her from that moment...

I feel sad, guilty, confused and cheated. I wish it could have ended in a different way. This doesn't make any sense. Asian people never made any sense to me. I never understood them, and i don't think i ever will. I had known her for 3 years. 3 young, energetic, vibrant and rich years that will never be recreated again. I shared a lot with her. I cared for her so much...

I don't know what's next. I don't know how to look back on those 3 years. 1 and a half years spent together and 1 and a half spent apart in silence, concluded with 15 minutes of endless powerful feelings...

I will never know what the point was, what it all meant. It feels as if it never occurred, those 15 minutes. It feels so surreal...

But i have to admit, i will miss her and that will trouble me for quite some time, knowing that had i known or had she expressed it somehow, i would have changed the outcome...

Tribute to The Clash

2008-05-30T19:36:00.001-07:00

This post is dedicated to perhaps to one of the best bands that came out from the original UK punk era, the band which as they call it is "the only band that matters". This band experimented with a lot of different genres such as reggae, funk, rap, rock and roll and rockabilly. I am not into punk but i have to say, i love "The Clash". One of the things i love the most about this band is their great lyrics. It was not just another anarchist punk band, like for example "Sex Pistols". Clash did not produce music for the shock factor. They promoted a leftist political ideology. Their music was influenced by cultural and historical movements of that time. They protested against monarchy and aristocracy. They rejected sentiments of nihilism. They encouraged youth to become more politically active and expressed discontent against alienation of the low-paid worker class. They were also not making music just for the money like most bands nowadays, being in debt for most of their early career and at the height of their fame. Tickets to their shows were reasonably priced. They were bringing to the listeners' attention the crucial issues of that time.

I picked one of numerous famous songs of this band. "London Calling" is a classic, and i suppose their most famous song. This song needs a post by itself. There's a lot of hidden and deep messages all throughout. I like the apocalyptic highly political mood of it. It has become a signature and national anthem of that time.

London Calling (The Clash)

London calling to the faraway towns
Now that war is declared-and battle come down
London calling to the underworld
Come out of the cupboard, all you boys and girls
London calling, now dont look at us
All that phoney beatlemania has bitten the dust
London calling, see we aint got no swing
cept for the ring of that truncheon thing

Chorus
The ice age is coming, the sun is zooming in
Engines stop running and the wheat is growing thin
A nuclear error, but I have no fear
London is drowning-and I live by the river

London calling to the imitation zone
Forget it, brother, an go it alone
London calling upon the zombies of death
Quit holding out-and draw another breath
London calling-and I dont wanna shout
But when we were talking-i saw you nodding out
London calling, see we aint got no highs
Except for that one with the yellowy eyes

Chorus

Now get this
London calling, yeah, I was there, too
An you know what they said? well, some of it was true!
London calling at the top of the dial
After all this, wont you give me a smile?

I never felt so much a like

Some sad realities

2008-05-28T22:48:00.000-07:00

I've been surrounded by idiots for quite some time that i've forgotten the standards of dumbness.
I've been by myself for quite a while that I now get satisfied by my own company.
I've been left with no real challenge that under performance has become an achievement.
I've been exposed to rudeness and hostility for so long that a random simple act of kindness seems strange.
I've been stuck in the same routine that i can no longer tell the difference between yesterday and today.
I've been used to silence that it's starting to deafen me.
I've seen a lot of ugliness that i am no longer attracted to beauty.
I've been so idle and lazy lately that the only notable thing i'm doing is staying alive.
I've been so used to pain that i've become numb to it.
I've been used to disappointments that i now foresee the outcome even before trying.
I've been so worried about everything that now i stopped caring about anything.
I've been so passive that the only time i'm active is when i'm sleeping and dreaming...

What you said and what you did...

2008-05-26T20:51:00.000-07:00

You said you study hard, but you spend most of your time hanging out with your friends and going out.
You said you express with your actions and not your words, but you always fail to act.
You said your parents interfere with your life, and you complain but you always go back to them asking for money to keep up with your expensive lifestyle.
You said I always talk to you when you are busy, tired or sleepy, but right after I'm gone, you go out with your friends.
You said I am mean to you but my door is always open, whereas yours is always closed.
You said you are beyond appearances, but you try to imitate and buy the same things your friends have.
You said you want to become independent, but you never hesitate to ask for more money from your parents.
You said you spend your money wisely, but you go traveling every couple of weeks.
You said you are not materialistic, but you go shopping every time you get the chance.
You said you could not decide between 2 necklaces, but you ended up buying both.
You said you are welcoming but you always point your finger to the door.
You said you believe in equality but you always side with your friends even when they are wrong.
You said you believe in friendship but the only time you were friendly to me was when you were paying me back or trying to use me and every other time, you simply ignored me.
You said you are shy and nice but you are nasty, disrespectful and rude when you talk to me.
You said you are open to criticism but you can't even take a joke.
You said you are responsible and mature but you never even admit a mistake and always try to avoid punishment.
You said you never break your promises, but you never even know the meaning of the word..
You said and you keep saying but you never do...